


Beyond What is Rational

by Spooky13992



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, My First Fanfic, Not Canon Compliant, Out of Character, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-11-13 10:38:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11183379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spooky13992/pseuds/Spooky13992
Summary: When Harry, Severus and Remus are stuck at 12 Grimmauld place for their own safety and Severus finds Harry in a middle of a nightmare. Or is it?





	1. It is Impossible, Really

**Author's Note:**

> " thoughts "  
> ' speech '  
> This is my first fiction and i suck at summaries. English is not my first Language most of the story is Severus POV.

Sitting on a winged-back chair, a tumbler with Amber liquid in hand, staring into the fire, legs crossed, contemplating life, his mind a jumble of thoughts and moments, a sigh escaped his lips. What was he doing with his life. 

How did he end up here! Living in the childhood home of his arch-enemy "of all people “, with a werewolf and the chosen one for company.

" well, for the typical reasons actually, there is an angry army of death eaters hunting me down, they have destroyed my house already and this house is undetectable, makes sense, really" 

his thoughts ending with a sneer and a gulp of strong alcohol.

A louder sigh escaped, although it was where he grew up, he never considered it as home so no loss there, only his books. looking up at the clock it was ten past two in the morning. 

Pursing his lips, he decided it was time to retreat to his rooms. Draining the last of the fire whiskey, banishing the glass to the kitchen, Severus Snape dragged his long limbs heavily from the chair and started ascending the stairs. 

" well today was a very draining day. " thought while walking up the stairs. " with all the raids on muggle-born, it’s a miracle no one died, it started from early morning and didn't stop until a few hours after sunset, no wonder everyone retired to their rooms earl........" 

'Severus.' 

The potion master froze as he heard his name being whispered from the door adjacent to his. Pulling out his wand, the ex-spy stood there staring at the door leading to potter's room waiting, maybe it was his imagination, or the alcohol in his system. 

 

'Severus.' 

The whisper came again, a little bit lower, but it was a whisper. Bracing himself, using his stealth, he approached the room as quietly as he could. His mind providing twenty different situations of the potter's brat in danger. He knew he was paranoid, but his paranoia is what kept him alive.

 

Opening the door silently, his whole body was on alert. his eyes scanning the room for anything out of order, any unwanted presence. Everything was as it should be.

Casting a few revealing charms, nothing happened. Then his name came again, this time the tone of the whisper was urgent. His head snapped to the bed in the room, with the faintest Lumos he could muster, he approached the bed carefully. 

 

Potter was restless while he was sleeping, moving and whimpering softly, and he heard him saying his name in a very faint voice, that it almost came out as a hiss. 

He stood there staring at the boy, thinking what kind of dream that he was dreaming about " definitely a nightmare if it stars me. " ending with a self-loathing smile. 

 

While debating between waking the brat, or leaving him to his nightmares, suddenly potter muttered softly.

' yes. Severus, there.’. 

Severus Snape started in his place, stunned with what he heard. 

"What exactly was the boy dreaming about?", And he just realized " why in Merlin’s name is he calling me Severus? He usually calls me professor or Snape or sir!". 

'Oh god. Please Severus, please!' 

That was him potter was begging for. Severus's eyes went as wide as they could. It was like his mind isn't registering what he was hearing and seeing. " what the bloody hell is he begging for? ". 

Just to be sure, he checked if the boy's eyes were closed, and they were. A low moan broke from potter’s mouth, as he fisted his hands in the bed sheets, his back arching slightly, his body tense. 

 

Severus Snape was a man who prided himself on the fact that he always knew what to do, or how to retort, and even supply someone with a lifetime worth of insults without the need to think. But at this moment in time he really didn't know what to do or what to think or to say. 

As he was looking at the boy's face contouring in what he could only decipher as pleasure, or maybe pain " and hopefully its pain", he thought maybe just maybe the boy was not having a nightmare, maybe he was having an erotic dream.

But yet again, who would have an erotic dream about him! Who would want the ugly git of the dungeons starring in their wet dream when they can imagine anyone else other than him? So maybe its not an erotic dream, but the boy dreaming about him casting Crucio on him, " that would make more sense, really." 

Then potter slumped on the bed, panting slightly, his breath a bit labored, whispering Severus's name repeatedly. 

'Severus. I love you, Severus.' 

Said the boy out loud, with a faint smile gracing his lips in the dark of the room. Snape was never surprised in his whole life like he was now.

"Did he just say he loved me?". 

He was staring with wide unblinking eyes and his mouth was slightly agape.

" what in the name of Merlin's balls did I just hear?". 

The ex- spy started retreating slowly backward towards the door, keeping his eyes on potter. As he took his second step, potter spoke again and louder than ever before. 

'Severus. Please don't leave.'

Every muscle in his body frozen solid, his breath hitched, his heart was hammering in his chest. He could feel the adrenalin rushing through him. Looking at the young man's face, he saw tears running down his cheeks, but his eyes where still closed. 

" So, he didn't see me, he is still dreaming. Wait a minute did he just beg me not to leave?". 

'Please don't leave me Severus. Love yo.....please..... don't...... me '.  
the few words at the end were mere whispers. 

The boy turned to one side and started sobbing quietly. Snape felt a lump stuck in his throat, as he was staring at the young man sobbing. He continued his steps, still walking backward, keeping an eye on potter's tear-full face. As his back hits the door, he opened it and fled the room as quickly as humanly possible. 

The walk back to his rooms was not a long one, since his rooms are right next to potter's. He entered his rooms, swiftly closed the door, locked it warded it, and even put a silencing spell on it. He loosened a couple of buttons at the top of his high collar and sat down on an armchair in his room with a strained look on his face.

Severus Snape was not a sentimental man, nor was he a kind, or an understanding man. But the lump that appeared when he saw potter crying, and curling on himself while sobbing, was still there. Surprisingly it was getting harder and harder to swallow around it as time passed by, and there was that one thought that was going round and round in his head for as long as he sat their staring at the wall in front of him, one sentence kept repeating itself in his mind.

" why were you crying?".

Until his mind couldn't take it anymore and started having a headache. He spelled his clothes to nightwear, got under the covers of his bed, Accioed himself some dreamless sleep potion, downed it in a couple of gulps.

 

Looking at the grandfather clock in his room, he realised that he sat more than three hours staring at nothing, lost in his thoughts, since it said that it was about quarter past six in the morning. His body was slowly relaxing as the potion took effect, and he fell into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is of age.  
> the story is GOF compliant.  
> Voldemort is dead, Harry killed Him.  
> a lot of the death eaters got away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> " thoughts "  
> ' speech '  
> English is not my first Language  
> I updated today since i am an impatient person XD  
> I do not own the Harry potter verse since it belongs to the amazing J.K Rowling

Snape woke up from sleep extremely disoriented and groggy. Realising the effect of dreamless sleep, he waited for a minute or so to regain his memory from the day before. Eyes shot open, sitting suddenly upright in bed, that his back creaked in the process, it was the moment he remembered everything.

" surely, I was dreaming, there is no way what happened last night was real. Or Could it?". He was pondering the thought of it being a dream, " you had dreamless sleep last night, it can’t be a dream, idiot.". 

He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling heavy, " why is this happening to me? Why me of all people?" A sigh was let out.

There is a possibility that it was a onetime thing. Then, with a bit of hope, "it is against my better judgement, but it’s just a tiny bit, really.", maybe it had never occurred before. 

Hanging to that small measure of hope, he decided to get up from bed and start his day. Looking at the time, he slept for 6 hours, which is the potion induced sleeping time. it was unlike him to sleep in.

" well, I can blame it on yesterday's exertion and none the wiser.". He ended his thought with a smirk. 

 

After finishing his morning rituals and getting dressed, potion master Severus Snape was standing in front of his bedroom door, dreading what would happen. He suddenly got angry at himself with this show of weakness.

" you have faced more death eaters and killing curses than you could remember, and you are afraid of what will happen, I need to pull myself together for Marlins sake. Maybe I need some Dutch courage. No, it’s too early in the day for that.". 

Sighing heavily, he opened the door and exited the rooms. 

As he passed potter's bedroom door, he tried hard not to look at it, but he really couldn't. All the feelings he had the day before came rushing, he couldn't move, couldn't stop staring. the lump in his throat came back as he stood rooted in his place. The images of harry whimpering his name, sobbing quietly begging him to stay, telling him that he loves him. 

" why am I reacting like this? what is going on with me?". 

He steeled himself, continued walking while trying to discipline his emotions. 

As he descended the stairs, he could hear someone talking. Sounded like Lupin was ranting about something. There was no sound of potter, so maybe he is not down there. 

He didn’t know how will he react if he saw potter and will potter be acting as usual if he saw him? " hopefully... Or not ". 

 

Putting on his trademark scowl and his trademark strides, he graced the rest of the house occupants with his presence. Lupin was slumped in one of the armchairs, while potter was sitting in the same winged-back chair he sat on last night. They both looked up as he entered, potter was looking at him the same way as always, the same as every day, only with a bit of concern. 

 

' morning, sir.' Potter greeted him with an inclination of his head. ' more like good afternoon, Severus. It’s almost one. Are you feeling alright?' Lupin greeted him with a worried look in his eyes. 

' fine.' That all he could bite out, since that dreaded lump is still present while going into the kitchen to make himself some tea and school his facial expressions.

 

When he swept back into the room, Lupin was reading the newspaper and potter was engrossed in a book, while sitting on the floor in front of the fire. he realized that the brat got off the chair so he could sit on it. So, he wondered " does he actually know it’s my favorite chair?". 

He let that thought consume his mind for now as he sat himself. Sipping his tea quietly, he was looking at the brat, wondering if there was anything about him today. Nothing seemed different, or at least nothing appears to be. 

" maybe he had that dream before, since he is not reacting to me any differently, or maybe he doesn't remember, and just maybe I am blowing this out of proportion.".

 

He was consumed in his mind when Lupin interrupted his train of thoughts.

' would you like to eat something? There are some leftover sandwiches from today’s breakfast. Or would you like to wait till lunch? It’s not going to take long'.

The ex-spy looked up from the rim of his mug, ' I will wait for lunch.' He said simply. 

' Are you sure you are alright? It’s not like you to sleep this late. I dare say this is the first time since you lived here.' Lupin added. 

 

' I think yesterday's event took its' toll on us all.' His eyes flashed briefly to potter, the brat was staring at him with a questioning look on his face, then his eyes darted back to Lupin to see him nodding slightly and stood up headed to the kitchen. 

 

Realizing he was left alone with potter, he picked up his latest potion journal and began reading. He tried hard to keep his attention only on the text in front of him, but his eyes betrayed him, as his gaze racked over the boy, correction, young man sitting on the floor. 

 

There was nothing of the child he was once were in his current physique. Well-toned muscles in the arms and legs, since his jeans and T-shirt leaving little to the imagination. His torso was hidden from view, but you can tell there are some well-formed muscles under there. 

 

The brat, although Severus was to be accused for pointing out resemblance between potter senior and junior, the only thing that was similar his father was his hair. His jaws were more chiseled than his father's, his eyes behind the rounded spectacles were a perfect replica of his mother's, even his lips and nose, they resemble Lilly's, but a bit more masculine. 

 

Snape suddenly became aware that he was staring at potter for a long time, he lowered his head so his eyes would be trained on the potion text rather than the young man sitting on the hearthrug. He was grateful the brat didn't look up at all when he was staring at him " that would have been awkward, really.".

 

He scowled at himself, " I need to have better control. pathetic. And why in the name of Merlin's beard was I ogling an eighteen year old like that, a former student no less. Because you saw him muttering your name in a wet dream, begging you to stay, saying that he loved you. Makes sense, Really.".

 

His inner monologue was cut short, when potter called out for him in a soft voice, ' professor?'. 

The professor eyes traveled slowly, until they met with green pools and settled there. 

' Yes, potter?'. With the same tone the boy used, potter held his gaze for a while, Snape realized that boy's breath was suddenly quicker, the rise and fall of his chest a bit more frequent than usual.

 

The boy averted his eyes quickly, and spoke in the same soft tones,' I came across a paragraph, that mentions a potion theory. If it is ok, could you have a look at it then explain it? Sir'. 

Slowly raising one eyebrow, Severus spoke in a teasing voice, 'Well potter, you never cease to amaze me. Finally using that brain of yours for something productive.'. 

 

The potion master extended his hand for harry to hand him the book. Harry was stunned speechless, his eyes wide and looking at Severus with a questioning look. The potion master could see the click in the brat's eyes when he understood that he was teasing him. With a sheepish smile being slowly carved into those full lips, harry handed him the book hesitantly. 

 

Severus kept his eyes on those verdant orbs, until he held the book in his hand. He smirked, mainly to himself. He thought " well, that was interesting.".

 

Potion master Severus Snape, was very famous for his researches, which were always very thorough, and done from scratch without the aid of any old research documents available. At that moment, he decided to put more than two decades of research experience to use.

 

He was more of a hands-on researcher; never did he rely on information until he proved it himself. now he has the information, which is what he saw last night, and he wants to confirm his findings with practical research of the subject. " are Harry’s feelings real? Was what I saw true?". 

 

Snape was reading the paragraph and was mildly surprised, this was advanced stuff. He came across this theory when he was preparing for his mastery, and in all honesty, it was one of the more complicated ones.

So, he read the text, handed the book back while holding potter's gaze, relinquished his grip of the book slowly.

'Well mister potter, this is going to take a while'.

with an amused glint to his eyes, he pitched his voice an octave lower and said in a soft voice, ' if it is agreeable for me to claim some of your time, then I am willing to explain anything you want to know.'. 

 

Severus used those word for their double meaning. He used that tone of voice for a reason. He wanted to document potter's reaction regarding the information he gathered the day before, and he was pleasantly rewarded with a hitch to the boy’s breath, a faint blush to his cheeks on top of darkening and dilation of the boy’s irises. However, the most rewarding reaction was, the faint shiver and tremor that ran through Harry’s body and the hooded look to the boy's eyes, when he pitched his voice low. 

 

Somehow, that specific reaction warmed his heart greatly. " my my, aren't we a beautiful surprise? So, you are attracted to my voice. Well that is an astonishing reaction. Who thought the golden boy would be attracted to the voice of his former professor? That is a satisfying discovery, really.". 

 

Snape stared at harry, waiting for a reply for what he had proposed. When he saw potter's Adam apple bob once, as potter swallowed thickly. And then nodded with a look of determination in his expressive eyes.

Snape leaned forward in his chair, elbows on knees, a smirk planted on his lips, and began explaining to the young man, who was sitting cross legged on the floor in front of him, looking up through his long lashes with killing curiosity and mild shyness in his eyes, the theory of interchangeable bases in regard to different wand-cores.


	3. Imagine My Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GOF Compliant   
> Voldemort is dead killed by Harry   
> A lot of death eaters escaped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> " thoughts "  
> ' speech '  
> English is my second language

Lupin had found them in the same position, only they were leaning a bit more into each other. while the professor's speech was coming to an end. 

' that is why I can’t cast the spell part for the brain rejuvenating potion, since my wand core is a Phoenix feather'. 

Potter's eyes brightened, his back suddenly straighter, chimed with an innocent smile, ' it's the same as mine.'. 

 

Snape was taken back by the bright easy smile potter directed at him, he remembered the way potter was crying yesterday and his mouth went dry.

 

" Do I deserve the way potter is looking at me now? After all I have done to him when he was at school. Of course, there is no more Voldemort, so I can act normal now, or as close to normal as possible. But the way I treated harry was not for the sake of Voldemort, but for my own reasons, which was mainly my hatred towards his father.". 

 

Suddenly, he felt extremely guilty. then, he realized how close they were leaning towards each other. the realization hit him when he could smell the scent that clung to the brat. 

Snape straightened his back with a nod ' Indeed, mister potter.'. Harry was still smiling, but his smile was more content than bright, as his attention was back to the book in his hand.

 

Lupin called out, ' if you are both done with whatever you are discussing, lunch is ready'.

Both Snape's and potter's head snapped up at where Lupin was standing, then looked back at each other. Harry gave Snape a small smile then got up. Snape was looking at harry, as the boy climbed to his feet and walked towards the table, he tried to regain control over his emotions before he himself got up and followed.

 

Lunch was a quiet event, there was soup and sandwiches, which Severus devoured more than his fair share, since he missed breakfast. Throughout the duration of lunch Severus was looking at potter, and got caught more often than not by the brat. Lupin was looking at him strangely between time to time. 

 

As he was looking at potter, he had a better view of his features, which were subtle, but formed a beautiful sight. long lashes that casted a shadow on his cheeks when he closed his eyes as he took a mouthful of soup, full lips that released the spoon reluctantly. 

as the boy swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbed delicately, Severus found himself staring at the sight, while his fingers moving by their own accord, and started tracing his thin lips. 

He stopped immediately, dropping his free hand on his lap, with the intention of keeping it there. But the most amazing sight was when potter's eyes snapped up and locked with his as he was caught staring. That sight alone made his breath catch and forget how to inhale, those emerald gems boring into his polished obsidian irises. 

For a moment there, Severus put up his occlumency shields. the boy's eyes were so intense, that he thought the boy was practising legilimency on him. When he knew well enough that the brat didn't master occlumency yet. When potter found out he was staring, Snape would keep his gaze steady then slowly lower his eyes to whatever was on his plate.

 

" why am I looking at the brat. Why am I putting my hopes up like that? I know nothing will happen, I will not let anything happen. So, what am I doing? Am I indulging in something forbidden? Or am I just interested in the innocence of youth that potter is offering? Maybe it is nothing but curiosity from my side, since what is happening is a first for me. Who would lust over me, really. And who would love someone as bitter as me, I mean really. Apparently, potter does, maybe he is more damaged than I am? Well that is settled, it is mere curiosity that will pass eventually, Hopefully not too fast.". 

 

When Severus finished lunch, he was torn between staying and enjoy his stay with potter, or go back to his rooms and start with his potion making. His potion cabinets were really lacking after the raids, and he really needed to restock them, at least the basic ones. He looked at potter one last time while the boy was talking to Lupin, the way he was animated and content, it was a sight to behold. 

 

The way his mouth curled into a smile, and then a grin as he heard something funny, but what was most amazing was when he laughed, the kind of laugh that was effortless, so carefree that gave you an urge to put a very silly smile on your face. 

He subdued this urge as best as he could, but he still twitched his lips when he heard something funny, or what passed as a smile in regards to Severus's standards.

 

After few minutes of indulging in his research, or so he says, he stood up, and excused himself from the table to retreat to his rooms. when potter raised his head to meet his eyes, he could see that the boy's eyes looked, and dared he say, a bit sad. 

That reaction really did make him rethink his course of action, he wanted to stay just to make those eyes shine with mirth, Just like a few moments ago. But he couldn't let himself think like that. So instead, he nodded to both, and went up the stairs.

 

Few hours into his potion making, when he was counting the fifth counter clockwise stir, his magic tingled, which meant someone was at the door. he waited for the knock to come, few seconds, a minute and still nothing. His magic was still tingling which means there is still someone at the door. Severus waited for an additional two minutes, then the tingling was gone. Now he was curious, who was at his door, and what did they want, why didn't they knock? 

 

Suddenly his magic tingled again and instantly heard the knock that was supposed to happen a few minutes before. Casting a status spell on his potion, Snape strode out of his lab into his room and opened the door wide with his mask in place. 

He stared at a pair of wide green eyes, the holder of such amazing eyes flinched a bit when the door was opened roughly. Severus's features softened when he realized who it was. 

 

Potter was standing at his door, but was not looking at his face but lower. He realized that he was staring at his chest, the little bit of skin and few spars hairs showing there. Since he was brewing, he had the first few buttons of his shirt opened and his sleeves rolled, showing his forearms. Snape was suddenly self-conscious but didn't change his stand or shift.

" What if he doesn't like what I have to offer? Would he still like me? I know he is attracted to my voice, but what does he think about me from a physical aspect?". 

 

The boy's eyes traveled from that patch of skin around his throat, the bit of chest that was showing, down the row of buttons. Then looking at the sinewy forearms, right then left. His eyes latched at the unscarred skin of his left.

" yes, it was all thanks to you that the hideous scar that marred not only my body, but my life is gone. Thanks to you I can look at my arm and not feel the bile rising in my throat.". 

 

After a minute or so, the boy finally was aware that he was starring and looked at Snape's eyes, only to avert his eyes as quickly, while his neck and ears turning red. What he saw in the boy's eyes made his stomach clench, but in a good way. He actually saw approval in those emerald depths. When Harry looked up again, his cheeks were tinted a pink hue, while his eyes were nervous.

" The boy's eyes are like an open book. Why didn't I see that before?".

 

' Did you need anything mister Potter?'. 

The boy swallowed thickly, squared his shoulders, with determination mixed in that nervousness in his eyes.

' Remus had a fire-call from the Burrow, he said he will stay the night and told me to make dinner. So, I wanted to ask is there something you don't like or can’t eat?'. 

The ex-spy blinked three times, that was the only indication of his surprise. Then he suddenly felt fuzzy around his stomach. No one ever asked him that question before. 

 

' No mister Potter, whatever you do is fine, if you can cook that is. If you cannot, I can make dinner instead'.   
Harry's mouth was going to fall from its hinges. He snapped it back and a small smile graced his lips. The smile was a bit sad which he didn't understand why. 

' Don't worry professor, I can cook. And dare I say that I am not rubbish at it as well.' 

Severus's eyebrow arched elegantly before smirking, ' We will see about that mister potter'.

Harry's smile was a bit mischievous, then he smirked very Snape like, while arching one of his eyebrows, which Severus thought it suited him very well, and said, ' indeed' while sneering slightly.

Snape was staring at potter with both eyebrows raised, and eyes widened with shock, then he couldn't stop the chuckle that broke through. Harry's now was blushing, with a shy smile while looking at his professor.

' I better get started at dinner, excuse me.' 

 

Snape watched as harry was going down the stairs while his neck flushed red. Many things were going through his mind as he closed the door and headed back to his lab. While he was starting back at the potion that he left, Severus thought about the way potter looked at him, talked to him, even when he surprised him with his final comment.

A genuine smile on his lips, he got back to his brewing, while thinking about the research he is conducting. 

 

A few hours later, seven potions down and three to go, Severus lifted his eyes to the clock and realized it was close to dinner time. Deciding to continue later, he spelled his equipment clean, after, he rolled down his sleeves, put on his vest and decided to keep the opened buttons around his neck as they are. 

He strode down to the living room, noticed the table already set. He sat on his favorite chair opening the potion text to where he last marked it, a and decided he should read until dinner is ready. 

 

Fifteen minutes later, the ex-spy sense of smell came to life. There was a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. The smell was mouth watering that his stomach growled in protest, although he ate a big lunch a few hours ago. He was used to going days without food. And now, just spending few months living that spoiled life where he slept well, ate good food and had enough time to rest, his body is becoming accustomed to that luxury. He scowled at his stomach for announcing his anticipation while going back to his book. 

 

Five minutes into his journal, he heard someone approaching the living room. Sitting straight turning his head to the entrance, he saw Harry and a flouting tray behind him, who gave him a glance with a smirk and headed to the dining table. He placed the tray on the table and started emptying its content. 

A couple of minutes later harry announced,' dinner is ready.'.

Severus put his journal back on the side table, before he stood elegantly and headed to the dining table. He sat himself opposite to where harry was sitting, he took a good look at the table. There was an oven baked casserole which smelt beautiful and a salad as a starter.

Harry started eating his salad, which Severus took as cue to start eating. As he took his first bite of the salad, he was surprised. It had only butter lettuce but the dressing was Dijon mustard based and had walnut and Parmesan shavings on top. The combination was of French origin, which surprised him even more. 

 

They ate the starter in silence, finished almost at the same time. Then harry banished there used plates and starred serving the main dish. It had toasted bread on top and beef strips with creamy brown sauce. It smelled if possible more delicious when it was served, there was a hint of spice that he couldn't put his hand on, which frustrated him. 

He is one of the most renowned potion masters, and he couldn't guess which spice was added to the dish. The food was exquisite. But not as exquisite as the youth sitting opposite him. He couldn't take his eyes of him.

 

Severus wondered, why was he reacting to the boy like that. Is it because he showed interest in him? He always noticed that the boy was beautiful, but never gave it as much attention or allowed himself to look at him in a sexual way. 

Why is he doing it now? Maybe because now there is a chance that he could have something beautiful to himself. Snape pushed these thoughts to the back of his head and started to enjoy his meal.

 

Snape's eyes involuntary closed with the first taste of the dish, when he opened his eyes and saw that Harry was looking at him with a small smile flitting his lips, when his eyes locked with Severus he looked down. Severus cleared his throat, Harry looked up. 

' I must say, apparently you are not rubbish at cooking Mister Potter'. 

The boy blushed beautifully and murmured ' thank you sir'.

' you are welcome, Harry.'. The boy's eyes widened and the blush deepened.

 

The ex-spy's eyes widened fractionally, and berated himself for letting that slip. He started calling the boy Harry in his Head, and that was the consequence, but the outcome was worth it. 

Snape smiled softly, mainly to himself, which made Harry's small smile turn into a broad one. Severus stomach started to feel fuzzy, which made him look down. he stabbed a strip of beef and started eating, which he hopped potter took it as a sign to start eating as well. 

 

He felt the boy's eyes fixed on him for a minute, before they shift. A faint sigh left his lips when he was not the centre of attention anymore. He wanted more of those delicious reactions from the boy, obviously, the boy wanted him.

So why is he resisting? Why is he being righteous? Why is he denying himself what was offered? But he needed to be certain, to know without doubt that the young man wanted him in all aspects. 

For if he let himself hope, then it turned out to be an illusion, he knows for sure that his battered beaten heart will not be able to take it. 

 

He knew the boy was attracted to his voice, and the look of approval he bestowed on him when he was in his shirt was an indication of how much he was attracted to him physically.   
But was the boy attracted to his touch? His eyes trailed the pale features as the boy was digging into his portion. Those emerald gems suddenly locked with his, an idea sprung into his mind.

' Could you pass the salt, please?'. 

Harry took it and extended his hand towards him. Severus stared at those gems, started to lose himself in them. He reached for the saltshaker and purposely grabbed it while trapping the young man's hand under his. 

 

Lids fluttering over emeralds, lips parting in an inaudible gasp, head tilting backwards minutely, Severus didn't anticipate this reaction. The boy was staring at him with half lidded eyes. 

The stare was full of angst and longing that he felt his throat go dry and his lips part in wonder. Severus's thump was rubbing involuntary on that soft skin under his hand and his heart was hammering inside his chest. 

Why was he doing that? How can the boy make him react like that? Why is his stomach all fuzzy? 

Then he realised the boy is still staring at him panting lightly.

 

A minute into staring at each other. Harry snatched back his hand as if he was burnt. His face flaming red and staring at his plate as if he could stare a whole into it. 

Snape took pity on him, stopped looking at him and went back to eating. Three minutes later, Harry began eating again. When Snape finished his dish, and emptied his glass of red wine, he finally looked up and saw that the boy was done and still staring at his plate. He felt bad that he embarrassed him that much, so he decided to soften the atmosphere.

 

' it was an excellent meal, and I would not mind a repeat of your not so rubbish cooking skills, Mister Potter'. 

Harry only looked up when he said Mister Potter and he could see a bit of hurt and then sad resolve in those so expressive eyes.  
" So, you liked it when I called you by your first name. Hmmmm, maybe I should do it more often".

' thank you. Harry.'

The verdant orbs went soft when their owner's name was said, so soft that it made a man like Severus Snape soft on the inside.

" Why did I even say Potter?". 

The boy nodded his head and banished the dirty plates and the rest of the cutlery. With eyes still on Snape, he opened his mouth to say something but decided not to, then turned around and left the potion master to torture his brain of what did the boy want to say to him. 

 

Severus returned to his rooms with his mind on the boy. He was still thinking of what did the boy want to say. He finished his nightly routine, put on his night shirt and started reading a book, for a little while. 

Five minutes into the book, Severus lost interest. The book open on his lap, tracing his thin lips with his hand, Severus Snape sat reviewing the events of the day. From the moment he woke up, till the moment the boy did not grace him with what was on the tip of his tongue.

 

The day started with dread, slowly turned into curiosity, finally morphed into a research in regard to the boy. Severus could say that today is one of the weirdest he encountered, and he knew weird. But could he have a future with harry? The boy seemed in love with him. 

Could he actually pursue the young man? Severus looked at the wall separating their rooms. He wished he could vanish it. then it clicked, he was a spy by Merlin’s beard.

He knew and invented enough number of spells. And the spell that came to his mind is one of the ones he invented. But could he trespass potter's privacy like that? 

 

Throwing all morals out the window, Severus pointed his wand to the wall and with some complicated hand movements he chanted the spell ' revelaret ea quae sunt procul '.(1)

Slowly the wall started to become transparent, except for the edges. Severus stared at the room with something aching to self-pity. This spell is connected to his magic signature, so only he can see and hear through the wall, which was perfect for what he wanted.

"If I can’t have something that I really want, I could settle for watching from afar." 

Harry was not in his room; the lights were off. a frown started between his eyebrows. 

"Where the hell is potter?".

He suddenly got worried about the boy.   
It was past nine. 

Severus occupied his time waiting for the boy to show up by reading few chapters of the book. Then the knob in the next room turned and Harry entered. 

Severus sighed in relief, he felt guilty for playing the boy just to entice those wonderful reactions from him. The moment he saw the look on the boy's face he decided to abandon the research approach. 

 

The boy looked weary, defeated. Severus was feeling even more guilty. if the redness around the boy's eyes and the soft sniff that he heard were any indications, the boy was crying. 

What a change from today’s afternoon. The light teasing, the shy smiles and the unexpected answers. It was like none of that happened. He wished he had a time turner just to witness those expressions once more. 

Harry went into the bathroom, ten minutes later he was out, hair damp, towel around his neck and shirtless only wearing underpants. 

Severus was staring at Harry's body with lust filled eyes, the boy's body was perfection, a work of art, like a statue of one of the young Greek gods. He couldn't keep his eyes off the rippling muscles on his abdomen, or the waist of the boy as he twisted to check the time. 

 

Then the boy reached to the bottom drawer as he was rewarded with a view of well-formed thighs and a rounded pert backside, tensing ever so slightly as he shifted looking for something. 

He reached into the drawer and pulled out a T-shirt. The sodding item covered the spectacular view from Severus's appreciative gaze. Snape cursed the T-shirt as Harry got into bed and started reading the same book he showed Severus. 

 

When all that young flesh out of view, Severus felt his groin stirring in interest. He knew the young man was attractive and beautiful, but to know that his body would react like that to Harry's body was a whole deferent issue. 

He could feel his body hardening further with need, it was like his control snapped when he saw what the boy had to offer. He averted his eyes from the covered form and took a deep cleansing breath as he tried to bring his body back under control.

 

Severus started to list the most disgusting potion ingredients to try and diminish his arousal. 

" Dragon dung, it smells horrid. Frogs hearts juice, one of the most fowl smelling ingredients. Salt water eel's ball sack, so slimy I dry heave each time I touch it. Grindylow's piss, smells like a dead fish which had been rotting in a closed hot closet for months, I just pity who ever tries to coll.....". 

The lights went off in the adjacent room, but he could still see potter. There was a single candle burning, giving off week light so he could see a bit of Harry’s features and form. 

Harry's eyes were closed, dark lashes resting on pale cheeks, the peaceful face looked more surreal, because of the soft light was casting shadows over his cheeks because of those oh so long thick lashes. 

The boy turned to his side and faced Severus. Snape's inside softened as well as his features as he saw the boy’s tranquil expression. Snape went back to reading since his erection was half gone. 

 

Fifteen minutes into reading his book, there was whimpering from Harry's room. The single candle was out. But tonight, was a clear sky with a half-moon. There was a soft light casted from the window that illuminated the room. 

Harry turned onto his back, whimpering again, moving restlessly. He began moving his lips in an inaudible speech. Severus froze as he heard his name being muttered softly. 

' Severus, please Severus '. Snape was stunned.

" it was not the first time then. How long did he dream about me?". 

He stood up and neared the wall to have a better look, his eyes roamed the smaller figure, face tensed, muscles around his neck rigid, his torso flexing, then his eyes went to the boy pelvis area and a shiver went through his body. 

The boy was hard, the duvet is tented. Snape's eyes snapped to the boy's face, as his name was being said in such a seductive tone, with such encouraging vocabulary, that his own erection sprang back to life, and harder than before. 

Suddenly, Harry's back arched, ' Severus, Severus Severus. Yes, yes yes ....’.

Harry's hands went above his head tangled in the bedding and his hips were jerking upward in small movements.

 

Sagging back, panting, Harry turned to the side where Snape had full view of his face and a smile, similar to the one he bestowed him with this afternoon.

' Severus, I love you '. 

He heard that clear as tonight's sky and his heart clenched in the process.

' Did you, Did you .......’. 

Now Snape was confused. He didn't hear this admission last night. Then Harry's face contoured in pain, and tears, heavy tears started falling from his eyes. 

' Sorry, please don't leave me, please'. A sob broke from him, ' I love you, please come back, please'.

 

Snape's heart was hurting him, his breathing was hard. The lump in his throat was more painful than before and felt tears prickling his eyes.

He reached his hand to the boy but encountered the wall. He wanted to touch the boy, sooth him, tell him it will be alright, But couldn't. He cursed the wall, cursed the tears in his eyes and cursed the lump in his throat. 

 

Harry was now sobbing, curled onto himself. Severus's inside ached, he didn't know what to do. So, resigned himself to an uncomfortable night. Went back to his chair, moving it so it faced the wall and sat there watching the boy, waiting for him to calm down and stop the crying. 

When the sobs turned to sniffs, which was half an hour later. He got up and went to bed, but not before moving the bed closer to the wall so he could keep an eye on him. 

He kept staring at him until sleep claimed him. He dreamed of trying to get hold of two emerald gems in a clear shallow pond, each time he held them in his hand, they slipped away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) revelaret ea quae sunt procul = reveal what is beyond in Latin (thanks to google translate)


	4. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GOF Compliant  
> Voldemort is dead killed by Harry  
> A lot of death eaters escaped.  
> Harry is of age (18).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> " thoughts "  
> ' speech '

Chapter 4 

The next day started as uneventful as it was frustrating in regards to Severus. Lupin returned early morning and made breakfast. It was very quiet, except for Lupin unending words about the order. 

Severus was very frustrated when it came to Harry, since the boy ignored him all together and gave all his attention to the wolf. Snape tried to catch Harry's eyes throughout the meal but with no success. The boy kept averting his eyes and never wondered towards Severus. 

Snape wanted what he had yesterday, yesterday when the boy was looking at him like he was everything he wanted, needed, like he was the boy's centre of gravity. 

The meal finished and He excused himself to his room, saying he will be brewing some potions. 

The potion master did not go down for lunch and told Lupin one of the reasons why he could not. ' the potions I am brewing need constant watch or they would be ruined'. The second reason which was he did not want a repeat of what happened on breakfast. 

Potter did not return to his room the whole while Severus was in his, since Snape checked each time he came out of the lab.

His stomach contracted every time he remembered the cold attitude Harry had given him. He was feeling guilty and now he is feeling guilty added to that his heavy heart. 

So, when dinner time came along Lupin insisted on him to come down, and he didn't object, He was feeling famished himself. But he went down a little later, telling Lupin he needed to put his potions on status.

But the truth is, he was preparing himself to the cold shoulder that Harry was going to give him, so when he arrived they have already started eating. 

He noticed Potter was sulking, pushing his food around the plate and Lupin had a worrying gaze directed towards the boy. When Snape swooped down and sat down Harry was startled. And looked straight at Snape's eyes. 

Severus was stunned, the look of relief in Harry's eyes were unquestionable. But he was nothing if not a spy. His features didn't change, cleared his throat and with that cultured voice, ' Good evening, gentlemen'. 

Harry's eyes glazed over when Severus spoke, but as quickly, his gaze went to his plate. 

' Good evening, professor'. 

The young man started eating, all the sulking was gone and he was eating normally. Lupin just smiled at him around a mouthful. 

Snape was warmed by what he saw and started eating his dinner. " He was worried about me". He thought about it as a statement not a question. " I did not expect that ". 

 

There were no more interactions at dinner and again, Snape excused himself again to his room not before he graced Harry with a soft lingering look. 

 

An hour of time passed, Severus was sitting, consulting his potion text while trying to pass time, since the potion needed three hours to simmer. Some noises came out of the next room and his head snapped to the direction of the sounds. 

Harry was in the room, rummaging through the drawer, pulling clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. Severus was trying to go back to his reading, but it was very hard since he was thinking about Harry, which said Harry was now having a shower. 

Snape was imagining all that young flesh wet and pink from the heat of the water, hands rubbing soap suds into a firm body. His nether regions were stirring, hardening in rapid speed.

He tried to diminish his hard member by sheer will and returned to his reading trying to tame his wild thoughts. " what am I doing? A man of my age lusting after a boy half my age. But what a beautiful boy he is". 

Potter came out of the bathroom, but this time he was fully clothed, thank god, tugging his shirt down. He pulled a book from the bookcase and retreated to his bed.

Snape went back to his reading, his eyes drifting to Harry between time to time. The lights went off in the room next to him, his eyes settled on Harry as he was adjusting his position in bed. The boy finally stopped his adjusting and settled for facing Severus, which he could not complain about. 

An hour passed and he started to hear Harry mumbling something intangible. He left his book on the side table and faced Harry a bit more. His movements were a bit subdued than last night and the night before. 

Then, his breathing got ragged, but not with lust. His head was moving from side to side violently. He was thrashing as if trying to get away from something. Then suddenly he opened his mouth and screamed. 

 

Severus shot to his feet marching to the wall, right hand splayed on the wall as if trying to touch Harry. His keen eyes were on the boy, looking for anything that could have caused that sound. But nothing was out of the ordinary. 

The scream was agony itself, Severus's heart was pounding so hard in his chest, it was like he ran miles and miles nonstop. Another scream that was almost a howl, so loud, his ears were hurting, made Snape jerk, as well as His throat constrict so badly that he was not able to swallow. 

He did not know what to do, but he knew he had to wake him up. Reaching the door opening it wide and strode to Harry's room. Knocking hard on the door while thinking of an excuse for his actions and worrying about the boy, it was too much for his brain to process.

After the third round of vicious knocking the door was opened wide and a bleary eyed, dishevelled looking boy who lived standing in the doorway, stunned speechless. 

Severus didn't know what to say so he improvised. Snape opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but closed it. 

 

" Sorry to disturb you, I did not know you were sleeping." 

Harry kept staring at him with a doltish expression.

" Well then, Goodnight.", Snape added and started to turn to leave, when a hand held his sleeve and halted his movement. 

" Did you want something?.. I mean, did you need something? did something happen? " Harry looked up his eyes no longer bleary, but alert. And expecting. 

Severus averted his eyes, then looked into those bright verdant eyes and his heart picked up it pace. " No, nothing of that sort.”, but Harry kept looking at him like he was waiting for something. 

Severus realised it was an explanation he was waiting for, and now it was the time to put his mind to work. He looked down at the stains on his hands and ....

" Potions.", he said a bit loud, and looked up. Then softer," There is a potion I need to brew that has a spell component at the end. If two people cast the spell together, it will produce a better brew." 

Harry was squinting a bit without his glasses, but the confused look on his face was obvious. Then his expression softened, looked down, sighed in relief, shook his head and chuckled.

Severus could smell the enticing scent that clung to the boy’s body, but could not move away, since Harry was still holding his sleeve. And to be honest he liked where that hand was right now and some other part of his anatomy too.

When Harry lifted his head to look at the professor. He had a soft smile tugging at one corner of his lips. 

' Well, OK. I will help. Just let me get my wand.'

Harry started pulling away but Severus put his hand on Harry's before it could leave his sleeve. Harry turned and inhaled sharply, looked at Severus and his eyes started dilating, while Severus's heart was pounding again and his temperature rising. 

' No need, you can go back to sleep. I could brew it tomorrow.' In a voice so soft, he did not recognise it as his own. 

Harry gulped, then looked at their hands. Panting, he nodded slightly. Snape squeezed his hand slightly before letting go of it. When he did, harry did not snatch his hand like the first time, but pulled slowly, as if reluctantly.

Snape took a step back, while looking at the boy. Harry's eyes were a bit less dilated than before. 

' Well, goodnight professor.' 

Severus nodded minutely, ' Sleep well.......Harry.' 

The boy head snapped up from where he was closing the door, and smiled shyly at him. Severus heart jolted first then warmed greatly. 

Finally, Severus strode back to his room and closed his door. He was looking at harry, who had his hand over his heart and looking down at the floor. He had such a content and peaceful expression on his face that made Severus's inside swim. " I wish I could always make you feel like that." He thought. 

Harry returned to his bed now. Looking at the wall between them. Then closed his eyes, a smile playing on his lips, all the while keeping the hand Severus held on his heart.

Snape did not know what to do with the feelings that were rolling inside him. Of course, he was not heartless, he did care about people, and still cares. But the feelings that are inside him right now were foreign to him. 

The happiness that surged inside him when he saw Harry smiling because of him. The protectiveness that gripped him when he saw Harry thrashing and screaming, the pounding of his heart each time the boy looked at him with those eyes.

"They are more beautiful than emeralds. The myriad of colours in his eyes are just breath-taking. And now I have seen them without his glasses, they almost shine with an inner glow."

The potion master heard the alarm for the potion and went inside his lab to finish it. 

While he was bottling his potion, he was thinking of Harry's nightmare and was thinking about offering him some dreamless sleep. Thinking of how to approach the subject. 

After finishing his task, he went to the bathroom, showered and dressed in sleeping clothes. He went to bed, facing the transparent wall. Looking at harry sleeping soundly, he turned off the lights and went to sleep. 

This time when he dreamed of the pond, the stones inside where not emerald. They were green stones, with shades of green he never saw in a stone before. They shimmered under water, enticing him to reach in and take them. 

It was almost an ache the way he wanted to hold them, and hold them dearly and treat them as the precious rare gems they are. Reaching into the pound, he got hold of them, wanted to pull them but they slipped from his grip when he reached the surface. 

He tried again and again, until he settled to hold them inside the water, and felt content to at least being able to hold them in a way. 

 

Severus woke up early the next morning, remembering his dream and the beautiful stones in the pound. They were almost surreal. 

Today he decided he will go down early and strike a conversation with harry, without the mutt sticking his snout in the conversation. He went through his routine faster than usual and finished in twenty minutes. 

By the time a half an hour passed, Severus was in his favourite winged-back chair, reading a book and waiting for the start of the day. 

When he heard footsteps on the stairs, nothing changed when it came to his face or posture, but his heart did. He didn't know if it was Harry or Lupin, so he waited.

The footsteps came to a halt at entrance of the hallway. A timid voice from behind spoke. 

' Good morning, sir.'

' Good morning, Harry.' 

Cheeks tinted peach greeted him as well as a shy smile tugged on the lips below. He returned the smile with a fond expression settling on his face. 

Harry sat on the hearthrug a couple of feet from Severus with a book settled on his lap. The older wizard stared at the younger one, when green eyes snapped up to meet his with an untold question lingering in their depth of why are you looking at me. 

Snape cleared his throat and replied.

'I was wondering if the book you are reading has any relation to the previous one. '

Harry eye's widened fractionally then nodded. 

' it is. This is the forth book in a seven-book series.'  
Snape nodded once. 

' Are you interested in wand making as a career? Or are you reading it just out of interest?' 

Harry looked down at the book in his hand then, green meeting dark Night depths. 

' it started as an interest, but now I actually want to pursue it as a career. It is fascinating to me, from how to choose the right wood that goes with each core, to know how to interpret each person reaction to different kind of wands to select the right one for them.' 

Harry looked down again, caressing the spine of the book delicately. At that moment Severus wished that Harry would touch him the same way he was touching that book.

' I would love to have an apprenticeship when all of this is over.' he waved his hand around. Severus knew exactly what he meant. 

' A colleague of mine is a Wand master, when all this ', Snape waved his hand the same way Harry did, ' is over, I could perhaps talk her into an apprenticeship. But you should know she maybe friendly, but there is nothing friendly about her when it comes to teaching masteries. ' 

 

Wide glittering green jewels stared at him in awe. blinking once twice, harry choked up, ' you would do that......you would do that for me? '. 

Severus could not deny it anymore, he knew he was falling, and hard at that, to this green-eyed wizard, so he replied softly.' Of course, Harry. for you, anything.' 

Both of their eyes locked in a heated stare, while both of their bodies moving closer involuntary. Just then, they both heard someone descending the stairs and both were startled and pulled back from each other suddenly, as if they were caught with their hands in a cookie jar. 

Lupin appeared and greeted them with morning pleasantries and was off to the kitchen. 

As soon as Lupin disappeared from view, they stared at each other. Harry had a faint blush on his cheeks and was looking at him with hopeful expression and spoke in a hush tone, clearly didn't want Lupin to hear. 

' Would you really do that? I mean ask a friend of yours to offer me an apprenticeship?' 

Severus was getting lost in the look that was bestowed upon him. He cleared his throat. 

' Harry, I have already answered that question. And about the apprenticeship, I will put in a good word for you, but after that it will be the effort and hard work you put into obtaining your mastery. It will be exhausting and challenging but eventually it is very rewarding.' 

Harry was nodding at him with a barley hidden smile on his lips. He suddenly looked hesitant, then reached his hand and held Severus's hand and squeezed it. 

' Thank you. I don't know what to say, I...I...' 

He was cut off by Severus, who put his other hand over Harry's and squeezed it harder. 

' Do not worry Harry, do not mention it.' Severus's eyes flickered to the kitchen door. ' I mean it.'. 

Harry picked up on what he meant, and nodded hard.

Their Hands stayed like that for a minute, staring into each other. A loud sound from the kitchen alerted them and they both withdrew their hands. And both went back to their reading. 

Then, Snape remembered why he wanted to talk to him. 

' Harry?' 

Harry looked up. ' Yes?' 

Severus suddenly looked hesitant. 

' I apologise for disturbing your sleep yesterday, it was inconsiderate of me. ' 

Harry smiled. ' no professor. I should be thanking you, I was having a nightmare and you woke me up. So, no need to apologise and it was early anyway. '

Severus did not anticipate that harry would mention the nightmare so he took the chance. 

' You are still having nightmares? ' he asked while widening his eyes, emphasising that he did not know. 

Harry snapped his head up. ' not that kind, after Voldemort died I don't have those kind of nightmares. Now my nightmares mostly consist of the battle, and the people who died.' 

Snape forced himself to nod. He did not Know what to say. 

' why did you not ask me for some dreamless sleep, I know a thing or two about potions.' 

The boy smiled lightly and looked down, his expression was sad. 

' I got addicted to them in fifth year.' 

The potion master looked at the boy, and decided right there. 

‘ Actually, I am working on something that would work like dreamless sleep but non-addictive. If you are willing to be my test subject and assistance, I may share some of it with you.' 

Harry simply smiled and nodded. 

' well then, when I need your assistance I will knock on your door.' 

Harry smile brightened ' I would love to.' Snape simply smiled and returned to his text. 

A few minutes later, Lupin called for breakfast. The atmosphere today is a complete opposite of what it was yesterday. Harry was animated as ever, relaxed and all smiles. Severus contributed in the conversation a bit. 

Lupin was shocked first when Harry and Severus started a conversation by themselves. From what he saw yesterday was like the difference between day and night. So, at first, he sat there stunned then started his chatting as every day. 

When all the food was eaten and done, the three of them sat with a second cup of tea or coffee and continued their conversation, and that was a first in Grimmauld place, but will not be the last.


	5. Sees The Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " thoughts "  
> ' speech '  
> Harry is of age (18).  
> the story is GOF compliant.  
> Voldemort is dead, Harry killed Him.  
> a lot of the death eaters got away.

After breakfast, Snape excused himself to his rooms and started researching sleeping potions. 

The problem was, the fact that it is addictive, his idea was to keep the base the same, just use ingredient that are non-addictive. 

The concept was straight forward and logical, finding substitute ingredients was the hardship of this theory. 

There are two ingredients in this potion that are highly addictive, one of them is asphodel root, the other was belladonna berries. He found a substitute for the former, which consists of combining chamomile root with skullcap flowers. The combination seems to have the same properties sans the addictive part. But the latter appeared more difficult.

He was almost successful when he thought of using the blossoms of the belladonna instead of the berries, but it still was addictive, not as much as before but enough that it is not a long-term solution. 

That is the reason for finding himself two days later, with a number of potion text on his night stand and unable to fall asleep. 

The clock struck midnight, he decided to forgo sleep and resume his research. 

After a couple of hours an idea struck him. While in his pyjamas, he entered his lab, raided his shelves and set a few cauldrons. He was not going to substitute the belladonna blossoms, but counter it with ingredients that fight addiction.

The idea came to him when he was reading the properties of valerian root, one of them was fighting addiction. The potion master wanted to see if it possible to remove the addictive property of the potion. 

adding the root to the blossoms, there was change, a good change. But it was still slightly addictive no matter how much valerian he added. He Decided to add another ingredient with the same property.

 

The first try was a fail with milk thistle seeds. The second try was a success with lobelia root. Now the potion is ready and non-addictive what so ever. 

The satisfaction and excitement that went through him, was part pride and part relief. Relief that Harry will be able to sleep peacefully, no more trapped screaming in his nightmares. 

He has not researched the change in the properties of the potion yet, deciding to leave it until morning. Severus Snape went to sleep with a satisfied smile on his face. 

 

Morning came and now Snape found himself sitting, eating breakfast quietly, since Harry was not eating with them. He was with the other mutt since he was invited to the other safe house where Sirius black is, and his friends were visiting.

There was a scowl permanently plastered on his forehead since he heard the news. A voice broke his depressing thoughts, it was Lupin calling his name. 

' Yes? ' he replied. 

' You have been spending a lot of time in your room Severus. You hardly spend any time with us it seems. Did something happen?' 

' Nothing of that sort. I was conducting research for a new potion. And now that I have finished, I will have more time on hand.' 

' That is great news. What is this new potion? What does it do?' 

So, Severus explained how he brewed it, the difficulties that arose, and finally its properties. 

' The potion is non-addictive, unlike dreamless sleep. It does not make you sleepy and drowsy per say, since I used the blossoms of the belladonna, but when you go to sleep you will sleep soundly uninterrupted for six hours. When the asphodel was removed you can still dream, but the combination of chamomile, lavender and valerian root seems to suppress anxiety and stress, it suppresses bad thoughts, and with it, nightmares. '  
Snape ending his speech with a tilt of the head. 

Lupin sat there, staring Wide Eyed at Severus.  
' Well, that is bloody brilliant. So, you can only have good dreams, it's non-addictive, and you will sleep for six hours straight. Is there a bad side to the potion?', Lupin asked.

Snape looked at Lupin and smirked, drank a bit of coffee and answered in a deadpan voice.  
' Well, it makes you hiccup once, and burp a pink bubble that burst into a shower of rainbow sparkles.' 

He said it with such seriousness that made Lupin Laugh out load. Hearing Snape saying pink, rainbow and sparkles in one sentence was a first.

When he stopped and looked at Snape, the man face was a mask of indifference. He gaped at Severus.

' Are you serious?' 

' Yes.' He said as if offended, then his lips twitched. ' Except for the rainbow sparkles.' Now he was smiling. 

Lupin laughed again, with a shake of his head he settled back in his seat. And asked.

' Have you named it yet?'

' No, Not yet.' Snape answered.

Lupin met the potion master eyes and smiled. ' Hmmmmm....how about iris scintillat (1) or maybe rosea bulla (2).' With a wicked smile directed at him.  
‘ What do you say Severus?' 

Said potion master eyes winded, and his face was a picture of indignation. 

' No potion of mine will be named after rainbow sparkles or pink bubbles.'  
He ended with a huff. After settling down he continued.  
' However, I am not opposed to virgil somnium (3).’

' soundless dream. I like it. But how about iris somnium (4), it has a nice ring to it, don't you think?' Lupin provided with a thoughtful look.

Severus was actually considering the name. although it had rainbow in it, but he liked irises and it did have a nice ring to it, as Lupin provided.  
' I will consider it.' With an inclination of his head. Lupin just smiled at him and finished his cup. 

 

Afterword, Severus excused himself wanting to organise his search paper for the new potion, and a few potions to brew. By the time he was done with both the brewing and the paper it was ten past four, so he decided to relax in front of the fire in the living room, with a book. 

As he approached his favourite chair, he saw someone laying on the sofa. It was Harry sleeping with his glasses askew. Severus bent down and plucked the glasses but not before his hand threaded in Harry's hair, " his hair is so soft.". Suddenly, the young man turned in towards his touch and Severus withdrew his hand as if burned, and Harry just turned to his side and settled.

Snape released a breath he did not know he was holding, and backed away towards the chair and sat down.  
" He did not wake up, thank Merlin."  
He opened his book and started reading, trying to keep Harry out of his thoughts long enough for the book to make sense. 

About half an hour later, Harry's breathing started to get laboured and heavy. Snape started to get anxious. He was worried that Harry will have that dream, and Lupin will walk in, while Harry confessing that he loved him. 

He sat there staring at the boy, his mind on full alert. Waiting, to see if the boy will start mumbling his name, the same as every night. 

Harry's breathing became more ragged, started twitching and moving restlessly. Snape realised that the boy was having a nightmare. He got off his chair and approached the sleeping figure. He rested his hand on the boy's face and started stroking his cheek. The boy's restlessness decreased, but he was still stuck in his nightmare.

Snape was curious, he wanted to know what was Harry dreaming about. He questioned himself if he dared to legilimens him while he was sleeping. Harry twitched and pressed his face to Snape's hand. At that moment, he decided that yes, he dared. 

Closing his eyes in concentration and eased himself into Harry's mind. Keeping his touch feather light on the boy's other thoughts, he delved into his nightmare. 

 

It was dark, the smell of blood and dirt was overpowering. He could see Harry running as fast as he could, not even looking back. Suddenly the boy reached a clearing and froze.

The ground was covered in bodies, but the boy only had an eye for the figure standing in the middle of the clearing. It was Voldemort. 

Voldemort raised his wand and casted the cruciates curse on Harry, and Harry started screaming. Snape withdrew from Harry's mind as fast as he could. As soon as he was out he realised that Harry was screaming here as well so he shook the boy hard to wake him from his nightmare. 

knowing that Harry was suffering while he was sleeping made his chest ache. He doubled his effort and shook him harder than before and the boy woke up, shooting upright and taking hold of Snape shirt in both hands. 

He buried his face in Severus chest and finished his scream, all the while his body was spasming and twitching. 

At first Snape yelped when Harry took hold of him, but after being aware that he was suffering the aftermath of the cruciates, he held him tight and started running his hand in his hair, rubbing circles on his back all the while rocking him back and forth. 

It took Harry a few minutes to stop twitching and shaking. When Snape felt the boy stirring on his chest, he took hold of Harry's upper arms and dislodged him from his chest backward enough to look at his face. 

' Are you alright?' 

Harry just stared blankly at first but then nodded. 

' Are you sure?' 

Harry nodded again. ' Yes. Sorry Sir.' 

Snape was bewildered. ' Whatever for?' 

Harry just blushed and averted his eyes.  
' Nothing.'  
He looked up.  
' Thank you for waking me up, I was probably screaming my head off with that one.' 

' You actually were. Why did you not say that your nightmares were that severe.' Snape was still rubbing Harry's back unconsciously in an effort for comfort. 

' It's fine, I am used to it. It won't happen again.' He replied with his eyes downcast. 

Severus' heart constricted for the boy.  
" was he apologising for having nightmares? after all he has been through, he has the right more than anyone to have nightmares." 

his hold on the boy tightened which made Harry look up in confusion.  
' I will make sure of that.' He smiled faintly at Harry. 

' If your mind remembers a couple of days ago, I told you I was researching an alternative potion to dreamless sleep.' 

At That the boy nodded. 

Snape smiled and continued. ' I was successful in my endeavors and have created a potion of such.' Finishing with a minute shrug. 

Harry smiled brightly. ' are you asking me to be your test subject? ' 

The potion master nodded. ' if you do not mind. It is non-addictive what so ever and will not make you sleepy. But if you may document your reaction and effect of the potion, I will be most thankful.'

Snape did not anticipate what Happened next. Harry thanked him again, His expressive eyes going soft that made Severus' inside turn. The boy reached his arms towards Severus, and folded them behind his neck, while the boy's body coming closer. 

Snape realised that the boy was hugging him, and hugging him tightly. Snape was stunned first, but returned it as tightly and replied.  
' you are very welcomed.' While his nose buried in the boy's hair. 

When they broke apart, they were both a bit embarrassed. Snape cleared his throat and started.  
' How were the others? Are there any new information being passed around there?' 

Harry just smiled and told him about few things he overheard or was told. Most of the stuff he already knew, but he let harry tell him anyway. When Harry was done with his rambling, he actually asked Snape how he made the potion. 

So, it was Half an hour later that he finished his rambling and settled down both reading their books. It was few minutes after that Lupin showed up and asked if they wanted tea or coffee, they both said yes. 

After he emerged from the kitchen with a tray of treats, tea and coffee, they sat talking among themselves. Lupin asking about the Weaslys, Black and everyone else was there. 

Snape sneered a bit when black was mentioned, but the animosity between him and the remaining two marauders has died when they both risked their lives to save his and he risked his to save theirs. Between him and Lupin an attentive familiarity has formed after he started living here. But with black there was still tension between them, but they were civil with each other. 

An hour had past when Lupin excused himself to start on dinner. Harry offered to help but he was waved to sit back. Snape and Harry sat reading their books. Between time to time their eyes drifted unconsciously trying to seek the other. Sometimes they lock eyes. Sometimes they just smile at each other. 

Snape could not help remembering the embrace that Harry bestowed upon him, the warmth of the boy's body felt so right in his arms. His head fitted perfectly against his chest. by Merlin, the smell of the boy was intoxicating, earthy, masculine and a hint of something floral. 

Every few minutes or so, he had to shake his head to try and concentrate on the book in his lap, but nothing seemed to be able to dispel Harry from his thought. Lupin called for dinner and they sat on the dining table, Harry and Severus facing each other. 

The glances and the heated gazes stayed throughout dinner. Snape kept losing himself in the intense green gaze. The movement of lips and a Tongue that kept coming out to lick sauce off of them. 

he felt himself stirring in his pants and tried to get his need under control, but he could not. That resulted in excusing himself early from dinner and went up to his rooms.

Half an hour later, we found the potion master sitting in the armchair in his room, the same book forgotten on his lap and his hair wet from the cold shower he took.

He was a grown man for merlin's sake but was unable to keep his urges at bay because of an eighteen years green eyed incubus. He prided himself on his self-control, but as soon as Harry enters the equation all his self-control goes out the window. 

So, he decided on another line of thought. He saw one of Harry's nightmares, and the boy had the right to scream. The Battle was brutal and many people gave their lives for the safety and peace of the wizarding world, but not without a price. 

Whether it was mental or physical scars everyone had them. But Harry was effected the most since he felt that he was not doing enough when Albus pulled him out of school after his fourth year for special training that went on for years.

Harry still carries the burden of everyone who died before he was able to defeat Voldemort, for what he saw in the dream was the real place where he killed Voldemort most probably it was a memory of his.

His heart went to the boy since he was not stranger to bloody and horrific events. But he was proud as well as sad, since Harry was half his age and was able to handle such traumas and hardship while being that young. 

Now he started wondering, what about his other dream, the one about him. He was curious enough, he wanted to be certain of what the boy was dreaming about.

" Was it actually me? Was what the boy said true? That he loved me?"  
Could he find out today, when the boy was under the effect of the potion. The potion will make sure he slept without interruptions, at that time he could legilimens him, the same as today and learn of the boy’s inner thoughts and desires. 

With a faint smirk gracing his lips, and a wicked glint flashed in his eyes.  
" tonight, I will know what you dream of me, Harry Potter." 

Few hours later, he felt a tingle in his magic then a knock sounded at the door, He knew who was knocking on his door. When he opened it, he ushered Potter inside and motioned him to follow. Snape entered the lab and Harry followed, he approached the bench, plucked a vile from a set and handed it to Harry. 

' this is one dose of the potion, Take it all in one gulp if you can. it will not make you fall asleep or make you drowsy, so you can take it whenever you want. But when you do fall asleep it will have the same effect as dreamless sleep while only removing the nightmares. ' 

Harry nodded. An evil glint entered Severus' eyes.  
' any other kind of dream will normally happen.' Saying those words while eyeing Harry knowingly. 

The boy's eyes widened then looked down. A beautiful blush tinted his cheeks then looked back up and nodded. 

Snape looked at those emerald depths, remembering his dream he felt drawn to them. They both were staring at each other, moving closer. Snape realised what was happening and broke the eye contact briefly to think straight. He wanted to see Harry's dream before he starts anything with him.

That decided, he took hold of Harry's upper arm and squeezed it. Harry snapped out of his gaze and blushed more.  
' I hope it will give you a goodnight sleep without any nightmares.' 

The young wizard looked at him intensely for a while then nodded, smiling brightly at Snape.  
' Thank you.... I don't know what to say.' He snapped his eyes to Severus' and thanked him again with more emotions. 

' You are welcome Harry.' Snape replied tenderly, squeezed his arm again then let go while taking a step back. 

' I want you to remember to document your reaction to the potion. taste, viscosity, even after you wake up, if you felt drowsy, disoriented, or anything else.' 

Harry just smiled, and nodded fiercely. He smiled at Severus. Snape smiled back.

' Now go, drink your potion and go to sleep.' Severus said, ushering Harry towards the door. 

' goodnight, professor.' 

' Sweet dreams, Harry.'

Harry just smiled and nodded and went out the door. Snape stood there looking at the invisible wall waiting for Harry to enter his room. When the boy did, he stood there, his back to the door, staring at the potion in his hand, with a smile tugging on the corner of his lips.  
Then he nodded to himself, collected his clothes from the drawer and headed to the bathroom. Snape found himself smiling and settling back in his armchair and went back to his book.

He waited until Harry came out of the shower, and abandoned the book completely. The boy was in bed with his book lying beside him. And toying with the potion in his hand. He accio-ed himself a paper and a quill while eyeing the potion a bit more then shrugged and gulped it down in one go.  
Snape was smiling at the suspicious look Harry was giving the potion. Then, Harry's eyes went wide, he hiccupped once nosily and burped a bubble loudly. He stared at the bubble bewilderedly for a second, and started laughing so hard that he was holding his sides. 

' Snape wouldn't believe me.' He said out loud.  
He snickered to himself softly and started writing in the paper that he sat aside. 

Snape chuckled to himself, finding his heart feeling lighter than it did for years. Harry's laugh was pure joy, and a balm to his soul. He was looking at the boy now, the young wizard like he was waiting for something. After 5 minutes and nothing happened, he shrugged, grabbed his book and started reading. 

Snape went back to his book, but his head would turn to the side between time to time and look at the boy. Harry sat there reading for a whole hour, then he took the same parchment and started writing on it again and went back to his book. 

A yawn sounded from the room next to him, and Snape looked at Harry, the boy looked sleepy, and closed his book, rubbed his eyes and snuggled in his bed. Severus sat there, staring at the sleeping figure and rubbing his lips with his fingers, deep in thought. 

" what will I find in that beautiful mind of yours. A nightmare, a dream or will I find what I need in you." He was finally starting to let himself hope that maybe, just maybe he could have Harry, for Harry to be only his and no one else's. Hopefully tonight his questions will be answered. 

Snape sat for a couple of hours, waiting for Harry to make the first noise, but the boy continued to sleep peacefully. He started to feel sleepy, so closed his book and went to bed. 

Ten minutes later, Snape heard noises coming from Harry's room. He lit up a couple of candles, and sat upright in bed, his back resting on the headboard.  
The boy was in a dream, but what kind? He waited until his name had sounded from the boy's lips. He got up and went closer to the wall. 

" should I do it? I want to know. I need to be certain and sure before I do anything." 

Nodding to himself he exited the room and reached Harry's door. Casting a concealment charm on himself. Taking a deep breath, he entered the room, and walked to the sleeping figure. He crouched on the ground to be in level with the boy's face. 

Resting his hand on Harry's face and his eyelids lowered involuntary, relishing in the warmth and the beauty of the younger man and the fact that Harry was turning into his touch. Then, he kept his eyes closed and concentrated on doing what he came for. He eased himself in Harry's mind. 

The dream was at the front of Harry's mind, so he went in. Encountering a door, he steeled himself and entered. A dark room greeted him, the objects of the room were swirling in place as he entered. He inhaled and an earthy smell invaded his sense of smell and his mind registered that it was the smell of Harry's room. 

Taking a few steps inside, looking around, there was a single candle lit, which was next to the bed. Inside said bed, there were two bodies entangled with each other.

His step faltered, his breathing stopped.

" will I find myself in there?"

Severus strengthened his resolve and approached the two figures, until he was standing at the foot of the bed. Now he could see clearly, two men, both pale with dark hair. Suddenly one of the figures pushed the other onto his back and climbed on top. 

The covers slipped lower, and revealed an expanse of a pale wide back. Every muscle in Snape's body went rigid, the back had multitude and myriad of scars, and those scars were an exact replica of the scars on his back. He felt a fierce blush stain his cheeks 

" when did the boy ever look at me without my clothes? And when did he look at my back long enough to memorize my scars? And that is defiantly my body I am looking at." 

So, some time while they were living together, because some those scars were new ones from when he was saved, the boy stared at him naked and did not mind them. He felt his whole-body quiver when realising that Harry stared at him naked. His arousal spiked higher, his member filling and lengthening at a rapid speed. 

His dream self lowered his head to where Harry's neck and shoulder met, and started kissing biting and sucking on that spot, as if a beast feeding on a prey, and what a beautiful prey he was. The boy moaned loudly, and the sound went straight to his groin. Harry's voice was muffled by the other's shoulder while his hands were on the other's back tracing every scar and bump, as if committing them to memory. 

Harry rested his head back on the pillow, and now Severus could see Harry’s face. His face was flushed, and his features were lost in pleasure. His eyes closed, eyebrows knotted and red lips parted, breathy moans escaping those ruddy lips as the other Severus continued his attack on Harry's shoulder. 

It was very unnerving to see himself like that, while indulging in the most carnal of urges. His other self moved from where he was punishing that patch of skin, and started trailing a necklace of kisses on Harry's neck, all the while Harry was bending his neck to give him more skin to worship. 

His eyes settled on the bruised skin of Harry's neck, and a pang of pain hit his chest. He wanted to be the one to do that, to claim the boy as his. Although he was confused, it was him doing that to the boy, but not really him. 

" How could I be jealous of an imaginary version of me? Is that even possible? I think that is a first in wizard-kind history, really. "

Said imaginary version, lifted his head and was staring at the boy, but he could not see his features because a curtain of dark hair was obstructing his view. But he could see the boy's face clearly, a tender smile appeared on those well-formed lips, a soft look was directed towards his other self. Harry reached up and cupped his obscured face, his heart was hammering as if a million war drums had been fired. The young man's hand Reached up and combed through his long hair, while moving it a side and Tucking the rest behind the other's ear.

The first thing that was revealed to him, was the profile of his nose, so he knew what was going to come up, not a better version of himself, but his face, with all its ghastly features and worry lines, with a hooked nose and thin lips. 

Warmth started spreading in his chest when realising that the boy was not lusting after his body, but the boy actually wanted him, faults and all. 

The look on the other him was soft, tender and open. With a real smile tugging on his lips, and contempt radiating from his features, he lowered his face and captured the boy's lips in a heated kiss. 

Severus had to look away, pain coursed through him so strongly, that his body jolted and spasmed. His eyes widened, and he just realised what his action meant. 

" I can’t be, really. When did it even happen? How could it happen without me realising it was happening? I admit having feelings to the brat, I cannot deny that. but LOVE? Is that even possible?"

Looking back at the entangled figures, he inhaled sharply, Severus was devouring the mouth of the young man, swallowing every moan uttered from the boy's throat. Now he was panting, his temperature was rising, and with it his temper. 

He wanted to push his imaginary self off of potter, and devour that mouth instead, hear those moans vibrate against his lips and tongue all the while his tongue mapping the inside of the boy's mouth.

He blinked once, twice looked down and wondered. 

" where did all that possessiveness come from?" 

He looked back at the two figures and a snarl left his lips involuntary. He was looking at himself kissing Harry thoroughly and passionately, while Harry was whimpering and mewling into the other's mouth. His mind registers that what he was looking at is a dream, and the fact the dream was about him, but the pain he was experiencing and the tightening of his chest was too intense, that he was having trouble breathing. The other Severus mouth left the boys lips finally, and started tracing Harry's jaw, neck and collarbone. 

He felt himself walking towards the bed, wanting to be closer to the boy. He reached the head of the bed and crouched down, the same place and position in the boy's real room. 

When he thought about Harry's real room, where he was in the same position with a hand on the boy's face, it finally downed on him that what he was seeing was not real, but a dream of a boy who was in love with him, and astonishing enough, he is in love with boy too. 

The pain he was experiencing lessened drastically, and his mind was now his own once more, but he still cannot deny that he was not turned on and excited by what was displayed in front of him. 

Harry turned his head towards where he was sitting, his eyes screwed shut, his face flushed, forehead sweating and his mouth opened to utter a quiet sob. Severus's eyes snapped to the other Severus, which was busy laving at Harry's right nipple and worrying it between his teeth. The boy's chest arched and a strangled sob escaped his mouth each time his other self bit into his nipple harder. 

Dream Severus' hand wondered lower, on the young's man side's, toned abdomen, going lower, when Harry stiffened and his eyes snapped open, the descending stopped. Harry's eyes were full of uneasiness when they connected with the other's eyes. 

' I didn't.....I have never..err you know..'

Then, he closed his eyes and turned his head towards where he was sitting, and opened his eyes. His eyes were swimming with tears, but not a drop fell out. 

' Sorry..I know it's not wh......' 

His speech was cut off by the other Severus who was kissing him soundly. 

' don't you ever apologise for this. Ever.' He kissed him again passionately. When he came up back to air, he rested his forehead on Harry's and continued.  
'If you do not want to go all the way, you just have to tell me. I can wait as long as you want. And do not worry, we can enjoy ourselves in different ways.' A devilish smile tugged on the corner of his lips.

He said that, all the while staring intensely into the boy's eyes. As if trying to convey his feeling through that gaze. 

Relief flooded Harry's face, a smile broke through his handsome features while reaching his hand to the back of other's Severus head, and bringing him to soft, tender kiss. 

Real Snape suddenly slumped back, landing on his back side stunned.

" was what I heard true?" Eyeing the boy, who was now gasping as his stomach being traced by the other's tongue. Severus sneered slightly and looked back down. He remembered when the boy looked at his body, when he touched his hand while passing the salt. He was not able to compose himself, those were indications that the boy have never experienced all that before. 

" how could I have been so stupid?" 

Severus was so deep in thought that he almost missed what was uttered from the bed. 

' spread your legs, Harry.' Snape commanded gently. 

' you're not.... We won't, I mean, I don't w..' Harry was cut off by Severus who cupped his face and kissed him chastely. 

' it is ok Harry, do not worry. We will not go all the way, okay?' Severus replied warmly. Harry nodded and Severus smiled. 

' however, we can still enjoy ourselves, as I said before. So, would you spread your legs for me, Harry…Hmmmm?' The other Severus whispered the last few words in a voice that resembled a deep rumble of a purring panther. 

Harry almost melted into the bed when the other one purred, his eyes dilated and his breathing hitched. Suddenly he was transported into a memory which the boy's mind pulled into view. The one when he explained the theory to the boy. Then the room shifted back.

Severus could see the boy's legs shift under the covers, his member throbbed between his legs as his dream self settled himself between the boy's spread out legs. He wanted to do that so badly, that he almost reached and pushed his dream self away. 

The two figures in the bed were rocking against one another now, with each movement, the boy moaned and his breath hitched. They both kept steady for a few minutes, all the while, real Severus' eyes were trained on Harry, watching every detail while the boy was lost in his pleasure. Every uttered Severus and yes, more and harder, those words were like fuel to the fire that was consuming him, he felt so hard to the point of pain. 

Then, both of their movement became erratic as they were both meeting each other's thrust for thrust. Harry was begging for him. 

' please, please Severus. Oh god I can’t..........' 

The other Severus devoured his mouth roughly as they were moaning into each other's mouth. Snape was fascinated of how Harry was scratching his other self's back as if trying to find an anchor to what he was feeling. Harry's pace became erratic while jabbing short thrust against the other Severus all the while muttering lowly. 

' yes. Yes, Severus yes. Yes yes yes .......'

Then his back arched and stiffened in place and was stifling his screams with the bedding. Dream Severus also was reaching his completion by the time Harry’s finished. With a low grown, his other self came and draped his body over Harry's. 

While the two in the bed were catching their breath, the one on the floor was in pain and was regretting that he did not attend to his arousal before he entered the boy's room. He was painfully hard to the point that he was really thinking about relieving himself right now. He knew he would not last long when he did attend to it. 

' Severus, I love you...'

Silence greeted that admission.

' did you........ did you ever fancy my mom?'

Both, the real and imaginary Snape stiffened at the almost inaudible admission. The one in the bed stiffened in anger, while the other stiffened in indignation. The other Snape started shifting from the bed and getting up, all the while Harry was scrambling to keep him in bed. His effort did not pay off as if the other Severus did not even feel the boy tugs to his arms and torso. Then Harry started to beg. 

' NO.' The boy shouted, ' please don't do this to me, I love you, please. Severus do you hear me I love you.' 

The boy kept pulling Snape but he was slipping from his fingers as if he was made of fog. 

' please, hear me out. I don't care, Severus. Please don't leave me I love you.'

Now the tears crying and sobbing began. As his dream self got off the bed and was walking towards a dark endless corner. The boy was screaming for him to come back, that he was sorry, but the bastard Severus did not even turn his head, just kept walking disappearing slowly. 

Harry curled himself in a ball on the bed, and started sobbing loudly, pain tugged at Severus' heart as he was watching the boy. He reached his hand to comfort the boy, but his hand encountered nothing, just went through. He cursed legilimensy, himself and the bastard Severus.

Pulling out of the boy's mind, he found himself in the same position as before, but now his hands were wet because of the tears that were rolling down Harry's cheeks. He lifted his hand and threaded them into the boy's hair in an effort to try and calm him down. He kept petting the boy's hair and face. Tracing the boy's features and committing them to memory until the crying stopped. He dipped his head and kissed the boy's hair then forehead. inhaling the boy's scent, he then stood up with a plan forming in his head of how to make Harry his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1-iris scintillat : rainbow sparkels  
> 2-rosea bulla : pink bubble  
> 3-virgil somnium : soundless dream  
> 4-iris somnium : rainbow dream
> 
> all the potion ingredients that were mentioned were researched when it comes to properties as well as the potion itself


	6. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " thoughts "  
> ' speech '  
> Harry is of age (18).  
> the story is GOF compliant.  
> Voldemort is dead, Harry killed Him.  
> a lot of the death eaters got away.

Severus woke up with the feel of determination thrumming in him. He knew now for sure that Harry was attracted to him, not only physically, but emotionally as well. It was exhilarating and freeing to know someone wanted him.

With that firm feeling welling up inside him, for the first time Severus Snape, potion master of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, entered the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld place with the intention of cooking.

He knew he was a good cook if not a fantastic one; Due to his skills in potion brewing. He started with tomato, mushroom, turkey and cheese omelet. The ingredients are simple enough, but he cooked them separately to this beautiful melt in your mouth state before stuffing the fluffy eggs with it. 

Then proceeded in cutting fresh crusty bread to make an olive oil, balsamic vinegar and Parmesan cheese antipasti. A light salad of mixed leaves with red wine vinegar and olive oil, beautiful crepes with various fillings, from lemon and sugar, to spinach with garlic, Gruyere cheese and sun-dried tomatoes. 

It was a feast made for royalty, the smell alone was mouthwatering. Snape sat enjoying a cup of fine earl grey tea, until 5"7 bleary eyed savior of the wizarding world stood, mouth hanging open, " why do I even find this endearing when it was my previous instinct was to shout at the boy to close his mouth, PREVIOUS INSTINCT! WHAT! Is it possible that the boy changed his instinct? " he looked back at Harry and found his inside softening. Apparently, the boy did.

Clearing his throat, ' Good morning, Harry. ' 

'Morning sir.'. Harry stared in confusion at Snape.  
'Sorry sir, but is today a special occasion? And who did all of this?' His eyes roaming the magnificent food on the table. 

Severus gave him a levelled stare behind the rim of his cup.  
' no.'  
Harry stared in bewilderment.  
' no?' Harry asked 

Snape answered with a very intense stare.  
' no.' 

Harry suddenly gulped, but his eyes were glued to Severus'. They both went silent, their eyes locked with such intensity that Harry's whole body was trembling slightly with an unnamed emotion. 

Severus decided to take pity on him and stood from his seat, walked three long steps to Harry, while their eyes were still locked, he did something worthy of a Gryffindor. He extended his hand and cupped Harry's cheek. 

Harry trembling increased ten folds and his eyes went wide. Snape pulled Harry a bit closer to himself and the boy's eyes went even impossibly wider. 

' I just wanted to thank you for the most delicious dinner I have had in a while.' He curved his lips into a ghost of a smile. 

Harry blinked once, twice.  
' did you .... Did you really ... Like it? ' 

' oh yes, I don't even mind a repetition of it, really.' Snape chuckled deeply. 

Harry's cheek went very hot under his hand. Snape lowered his head slightly and in a low voice Snape said,  
' thank you, Harry, for everything.'  
He ran his hand through the boy's hair since he just felt like it and then back to the flaming cheek.

He inhaled the boy's scent that started to creep between them and rubbed his thump on the warm skin that was tantalizing him. 

The boy’s eyes were wide and dewy, those eyes were reaching his heart, making it tremble with a foreign feeling. 

He let go of Harry, without looking at him. Went back to the table standing and reclaimed his cup with trembling fingers. He tried to steady his heart  
but it was difficult to lessen the palpitations of his heart with the boy's ragged breathing behind him. 

He closed his eyes and took a cleansing breath " relax, you have him where you want."

He turned and looked at Harry. The boy was staring at him with such vulnerability that actually tugged at his heart. He held out his hand and Harry didn’t hesitate to take it. With the boy's hand securely in his, he tugged him to the seat next to him. 

The boy followed subduedly and sat quietly. 

Snape stood behind him, lowered his head and whispered in Harry's ear.

' I did not go to all this trouble for you to stand and gape at it, instead of eating it.'. He finished with a smirk, righted himself and went back to his seat. 

' you .... You ... Thank you' the boy said in such a low voice and a shy look with a smile that made Severus' inside clench. 

Snape reached and held Harry's hand under his and squeezed it gently. 

' you are welcome, Harry. Now would you please start eating.' while Snape started to tuck into his plate of food. 

Harry looked at him briefly, smiled and started eating as well. 

Lupin descended few minutes later, staring wide eyed at the table.  
' well good morning, and what happened? Did you do this Harry? ' 

' no.' Harry answered in a deadpan voice. Looking at Lupin with a blank face.

Lupin stared at Harry confused, looking at the back of Snape's head.  
'No?' Lupin asked. 

' No.' Harry answered in the same tone. 

Only then Did Severus shoulders begin to shake. 

Harry looked at Snape trying to hold back his smile but failing. 

Lupin smiled slightly. ' oh, ha ha. But no really who cooked all that? .' 

Harry looked at him and he smiled slightly.  
' I did Lupin, or do you consider me an invalid?' Snape answered. 

' really? I didn't know you could cook.' He pulled a chair and sat in front of Harry. 

' you never asked. ‘he answered. Not once looking up from his plate. 

' well since you obviously can, and gods Severus this is as good as a 5 stars restaurant, I will ask you for your expertise between time to time.' 

He just sneered at Lupin but did not say anything.  
They continued eating, he was sneaking glances at Harry and Harry was blushing each time he caught his eye. 

As they sat for their after breakfast discussion, he found himself smiling more at the boy as if reassuring him that its ok to talk to him. So, when everyone went silent Harry actually called him. 

Raising my head to look at him while lifting one eyebrow in a questioning gesture 

The boy actually blushed.  
‘Well… I have the notes that you asked off me for the potion.’

‘ Did you try the potion Harry? Did you burp a bubble that exploded in rainbow sparkles?’ Lupin put in hastily. 

Harry’s eyes went wide and giggled  
‘ what rainbow sparkles? But its true I burped a bubble.’ He said ending with a smile directed at me. 

I had to cover my mouth with the cup of tea not to show I was smiling. The boy looked at me questioningly I only shrugged. 

‘Too bad. I thought it was true about the rainbow sparkles and you were just embarrassed about it Severus.’ Lupin added dejectedly 

Snape just stared at Lupin with indifference.  
‘Well, no time like the present Mister Potter. Do you mind accompanying me to my lab and bring your notes?’

Harry’s head snapped when he called him Mister potter but smiled when he saw the upturn of Snape’s lips. ‘Not at all sir.’ Ending with a small smile. 

They both got up heading towards the stairs, Snape gestured to Harry to take the stairs first and the Boy blushed in the process. 

Snape knew the boy was thinking about how Snape is Being attentive to him. Snape smiled to himself when the boy passed him, it was partly being attentive but the other part was, well so that he can look at Harry as much as he wants without the boy being aware that he would be ogling his body. 

He felt like an old pervert but he didn’t care, since the boy wanted him and he wanted said boy. 

As they reached the rooms Harry looked back with a smile ‘just a minute’  
And went into his room and Snape Headed to his Lab. 

A Nock came and he opened the door to Harry whose cheeks were still flushed and a couple of papers held in his hand, he gestured for Harry to Come in and sit on the armchair and to hand him the papers. 

he started reading them while Harry was making himself comfortable in the armchair. He looked at the boy almost being swallowed by the cushions and decided to push the boundaries on their personal space so, he went and settled himself on the arm of the seat, while the boy was looking at him with wide eyes. 

He leaned in into Harry and asked.  
‘what is this word?’  
The boy’s breath was again coming in fast intervals and said, ‘viscosity, sorry my hand writing is atrocious, I know.’

He smiled to himself and replied, ‘no its acceptable, Maybe I am just getting old’. sighing to himself.  
He didn’t expect Harry to actually respond.  
‘you are not old Sir.’  
He then closed his mouth with a gasp. 

Snape just smiled. “ Well well well. This should be fun”. his smile turning to smirk. 

‘are you sure, I am 18 years older than you, it seems old in a lot of people standards, hmm?’ looking at Harry wanting for a reply. 

Harry looked down at his lap, His eyes casted down and cheeks redder than before.  
‘Well, you are not old, by no one standards.’ The boy looked at Snape with eyes trying to convince him, like something the boy had contemplated again and again in his mind and had the answer figured out. 

‘Dumbledore is old, and even in wizarding standards he is not.’ With a lift of his chin in defiance, as if daring Snape to say no. 

Snape chuckled” And I wondered where did the Gryffindor Bravery was those past days.”  
Smiling genuinely at Harry 

‘Well, if anyone accuses me of old age I will have the perfect advocate for my case’ extending his hand to run in into Harry’s hair and ruffling it up a bit. 

Harry just closed his eyes and enjoying the touch and smiling serenely at him. 

‘Now, that is perfect explanation of the potion but nothing of the important effect. What happened after you have fallen asleep. Did you have a nightmare, a dream or did you not dream at all? And how did you feel when you woke up?’ He asked feigning innocence about the dream. 

Harry started fidgeting and Snape was waiting for the boy to lie or say the truth. 

‘Umm. you see..’ the boy took a deeper breath and started talking while looking down and that permanent blush stronger than before. 

‘I had a dream that I consider as a good dream, a really good dream, but the end of the dream is sad but I still Had it. So, does that mean the potion didn’t work?’ finished and looked at Snape with questioning eyes. 

Severus started rubbing his chin in concentration.  
‘Hmm, well what was the nature of the dream. Was it about friends, family or someone you know?’

Harry’s eyes were getting wider and wider that by the end of the question he was resembling an owl and his mouth was a bit open. He spluttered and said something intangible and looked at Snape. 

He looked away and took a deep breath. 

‘the dream is about someone I know and… I really like’ he sneaked a look at Snape and averted his eyes again ‘yeah, someone I like very much’

Severus’ Heart was going a mile a minute, “he admitted to liking me very much”. He felt warmth travel from his stomach to his chest. 

He cleared his thought. ‘Well, it could be the feeling associated with that person and if the feelings are intense it could affect the properties of the chamomile since it is the main ingredient in calming and antianxiety of the potion.’ 

He heard Harry Muttering ‘they are strong alright.’ While huffing.  
‘does that mean I will still have that dream?’ the boy asked with a hopeful look on his face. 

Snape was taken back. ‘do you want to have that dream?’

The boy looked down fidgeting.  
‘Well, yeah’ looking up at Snape. 

Snape nodded and got off the arm of the chair.  
‘alright, I will modify the potion today and see if I can have a better potion by tonight for you to try, and if not I will provide with the one I gave you yesterday and you might have that dream again.’

The boy nodded and excused himself to go and help Ramus.  
With a smile directed at Snape, as he closed the door behind him. 

Severus flopped into the armchair and started thinking about what the boy said. He felt so out of depth that he didn’t know where to go from here regarding the boy but he knew what he had to do. Which is modify the potion so that the bastard Severus doesn’t make Harry cry. 

He got up and holed himself in his lab trying to modify the ratio to better suit Harry’s needs. 

So, when the night time came, he wasn’t done with his research and had to provide Harry with the old potion and bid him goodnight.

When the night progressed Snape would sit in his armchair looking at Harry sleeping. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he wanted to be near him, so, again, throwing control out the window, he went into Harry’s room, conjured a comfortable armchair sitting next to the boy’s head and threading his fingers in his hair while reading his book. He found peace and contentment in the simple act of petting the boy’s Hair.

And when he went to sleep his dream was filled with those two green Gems that he was able to hold but never close. 

On the second day while Snape was in Harry’s room, the boy had the dream and Severus had to calm him down after the bastard Severus abandoned him in his dream, all the while whispering sweet words, promising to never let him go and he will always be there. 

He knew the boy couldn’t listen to his words but he hoped it soothed the boy on some level. 

After two days and when it was time for dinner, Snape has finally finished his modified potion and hoped it worked since he had added German Chamomile to the Roman one that the potion Had, as well as Lemon Verbena since it is used to fight nervousness. 

He went down for dinner. It was a normal affair and by the end of it Snape asked Harry to accompany him again to his rooms for the potion. 

When they were in, Snape gave Harry the modified potion and said,  
‘Hope this one works I have added a couple of ingredient that should supress that bad part of the dream but we will see if it actually works or not.’

Harry just smiled and thanked him and went to his room. 

 

Severus was looking at the wall, waiting for Harry to enter his room and when the boy did, he took out his wand and locked the room door and put a ward. Snape stared wide eyed, he was planning to go into the boy’s room and monitor his dreams, plus he got addicted to the feeling of the boy’s hair running between his fingers. 

Sighing heavily, he dropped on the armchair looking at Harry as the boy was bending down, looking around in his drawer for clothes before his shower. Snape just kept admiring the boy’s physic. Before his saviour went into the bathroom for his usual nightly shower.

He was thinking of a way to go into the boy’s room when he remembered the spell to create walkways through walls since the wards are only on the door of the room. He smirked evilly and continued reading waiting for Harry to finish and tuck himself in bed so that he would be able to go there and feel the boy skin and hair under his hand. 

Said boy came out fully dressed and went to bed taking the potion at once. The boy hiccupped as usual and burped a bright orange bubble this time. The giggle that he heard at the end was what he was waiting for. It never faltered to make him smile. 

But afterword the boy yawned looking drowsy but was able to stay awake. He started writing on the paper on his nightstand documenting the effect. Severus felt pride in the boy in taking initiative without him telling the boy. 

Harry was soon Falling asleep, breathing deeply. 

When Snape knew that Harry was in deep sleep he got up and chanted while tracing a shape of a door in the wall between them ‘aperire viam’ (1). 

A doorway opened to Harry’s room and Snape stepped in conjuring the chair to set it next to the top of the bed. Sitting running his hand through the boy’s hair. After few minutes Harry Started fidgeting in the throes of that dammed dream. 

Snape was watching him intently waiting for the last part while smoothing his hand on Harry’s face. When he said it 

‘Severus, I love you’

His heart clenched he didn’t know what to do, since he wanted to say it back so badly. So, he got closer and whispered  
‘I love you too’ while resting his forehead on the boy’s sweaty one. 

Suddenly, Harry’s eyes opened to Snape’s and asked.  
‘you do?’

Severus went rigid, didn’t know what to do. Suddenly a pair of arms came to rest around his shoulder and a face rested in the hollow of his neck snuggling into him and the boy went back to sleep like nothing happened. 

He released a shaky breath and cradled the boy in his arms relishing in the sleepy heated flesh that surrounded him. Holding the boy close and kissing his head until he was sure the boy was sleeping deeply again. 

He tucked the boy back into his bed and left closing the doorway.  
when he was in his rooms, he started contemplating the fact that the potion woke Harry up when the dream started to become bad, how much he dreaded the next morning, how much the boy will remember from what just happened and how the boy felt in his armed all warm and relaxed. He wanted that so much that it ached.

He went to sleep dreaming of those gems, finally holding them dear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- aperire viam : Opening a way  
> thanks to google translate 
> 
> all the potion ingredients that were mentioned were researched when it comes to properties as well as the potion itself


	7. Wicked Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry for the late update. life and exams happened.  
> hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't own the song, all copy writes go to HIM

Wicked Games 

 

Severus woke up with a start the next morning, immediately looking at the wall separating him from Harry, looking at the boy, checking if he woke up already, the boy was sound asleep still. Breathing out a sigh of relief, Severus got up from bed and sat on the armchair, his eyes trained on Harry waiting for him to wake up. 

His mind still processing what happened yesterday, remembering the boy sleep warmed body wrapped around him, how the boy looked at him and how the boy fitted perfectly in his arm with hot breath tickling his neck. His mind also, conjuring what sort of situation will happen when the boy wakes up. What will happen if he remembers the dream, or what about if he realizes he was awake, or maybe he doesn't remember anything. 

After some time contemplating his options and response, some stirring came from the bed in front of him, focusing on the sleeping boy, watching him stretching his body like a cat, the comforter around his waist, his shirt riding up his side as he moved around, wanting to have the permission to feel and touch that strip of skin showing, to caress him the same way the bastard Severus was able to. 

Harry opened his eyes staring at the sealing, his face thoughtful. Snape kept staring at him watching for indignation, disgust, maybe happiness, but nothing came. Harry sat up in bed, his hair sticking up more than normal. 

Snape had to smile to himself since his hand was the cause for the boy's hair status. 

Harry then turned his head and stared at the wall separating them for a while. Severus was a bit anxious as if the boy remembers the doorway that he made. Then suddenly he reached for the papers on his nightstand and started writing, scribbling really fast. When he was done he got up with a spring in his step towards the bathroom. 

Severus let out a relieved breath and headed to the bathroom as well to finish his morning ritual, thinking about the piece of paper and what did the boy written in it. After finishing, he decided to go down early, hoping Harry will be there as well. 

Descending the stairs, reaching the living room, sitting on his chair, reading his potion journal for fifteen minutes and the boy still haven't come down. 

Throwing his journal aside he decided to go back to his room and brew some potions instead of waiting aimlessly. 

In the process of ascending the stairs and scowling at each step he took, mumbling to himself about lazy brats taking their sweet time, he didn't see the smaller figure that was getting down fast since they collided together, both trying to keep the other one upright. 

Startled green met aware black, both of them staring into each other, Snape realized he was holding the boy close to his chest and the boy was breathing heavily and leaning into him. His heart started beating fast afraid of what will the boy say, “will he confront him about last night or will it be the same as the dream?”. 

A mumbled good morning accompanied with a blush directed to him made genuine smile touch the corner of his mouth. Concentrating on the eyes with a bit of legumisny and flashes of last night’s dream made him aware that the boy was thinking about. Breathing more easily since the boy remembers it as a dream. “Well well well, aren’t we eager, my gain, really.” Ending his thoughts with a smirk. 

 

' Good morning to you too Harry, we need to stop meeting like this. Startled and in each other's arms. '  
His smile grew more noticeable as he saw the red tint of the boy’s cheeks grow even redder. Harry lowered his head and leaned a bit more into Snape in an effort to hide his face. 

Severus couldn't hold back the chuckle that was tickling his throat, nor the bending of his head to rest it on his savior’s hair and inhaling that smell that was all Harry. 

Said boy started pulling back and lifting his head up to look at Snape with a shy smile on his lips.  
" if only I could kiss away that smile " Snape thought to himself while his eyes were studying that pink full mouth.

' Well sir' started a timid voice ' I think you are right, but to be honest I don't mind it, as long as we are meeting, in a way ' the sentence ended with an impish grin and the boy pulled back fully from the embrace they were in. 

Snape was startled by the answer of the boy. One proficient eyebrow was lifted and accompanied by a sly smirk.  
' Well mister Potter, if you don't mind assisting your previous potion professor in making breakfast for the occupants of this house, then, I will not mind meeting this way.'

Harry bit his lips at first then smiled and nodded. 

Snape still smiling he gave harry half a bow with a gesture of his hand.  
' After you.' 

Harry gave him a shy smile and side by side the descended the stairs heading directly to the kitchen to start on breakfast together. 

 

In the kitchen, Severus took off his outer robes revealing a black collared shirt and dark grey slacks.  
Rolling up his sleeves, he glanced at harry who looked away quickly and was at the moment looking away with alight tinge of pink spread about his cheeks. Severus looked away and smiled to himself, thinking "the boy just caught himself looking at me." With that warm feeling spreading in his stomach. 

' Well Harry, what would you like for breakfast? ' 

‘Um, Well I really liked the omelet you made, if you can show me how to make it…’ Harry ended with a rub to his neck as if he was embarrassed. 

Severus smiled to the boy and himself ‘Nonsense, I will make it for you whenever you wish for it’ looking at the boy waiting for his reaction.

The boy’s head snapped ‘But you will not always be here.’ Said with so much force that it startled Severus. The boy realized what he did, he slapped his hand on his mouth and started to apologize and retreating from the kitchen. But Severus was faster and caught the boy’s arm before he fled. 

‘But I will be here for you Harry, always Here for you. Whether I live here or not I will be here for you. Do you understand Harry? Do you?’. 

Severus was looking at Harry eyes imploring him to understand that he cares. Harry was frozen looking at Snape as if he had grown another head. He looked at Severus for a while then straitening his back a bit ‘Yes, I… I understand.’. 

‘Good, would you mind coming back to the kitchen? I seem to hear something rumbling a few minutes ago.’ he still had his hand on Harry’s arm and was directing him into the kitchen. ‘And I remember you saying something about an omelet, Hmm?’. Snape was hoping the boy will not run away again. 

The only thing Harry was able to do was nod since Snape directed him to the table and chairs and set a steaming cup of tea in front of him.

Snape made two omelets for him and Harry. The boy stayed silent all threw ought breakfast, even after Lupin arrived and Snape Got up and made another omelet for him. He was concerned about what he said. Was he too intense? Did he frighten the boy? Did he do the right thing by trying to cement in the boy’s mind that he will never leave.

Oh, he knew he will never leave, not unless Harry wanted him away. 

 

By the end of the meal Harry was extremely pensive, that it took Snape calling his name three times for him to answer. Severus was worried that he was coming off too persistence, but if he did let him go the boy would have the wrong idea. 

‘I wanted to know if there were any changes in the effect of the modified potion’.

He was this close to saying that “if you actually did take note of the change” but he didn’t want to send the wrong message to the boy. He has to tread carefully and curb his tongue if he wants the boy to understand that he cared about him “Its more than care, much more than care, really.”

Harry looked at him and blushed a bit with a very small smile as if remembering something.

‘Um, yeah it did change. I wrote everything down.’. he directed the small crooked smile towards him and his insides went warm. 

‘Well, mister Potter, I am at loose ends right now, why don’t we head upstairs and you can meet me in my room.’

The boy nodded and pushed off the table and Snape followed out. Harry was walking in front of him and Severus was so in thought that he didn’t see Harry stopping. He collided into Harry’s back and held him to steady him. He looked down at the boy and said boy was looking at him startled. Severus smiled. 

‘I told you mister Potter, we need to stop meeting like this.’

Harry just smile genuinely at him and went inside his room. Severus just stared a bit and then strode to his rooms to wait for Harry. 

He was standing in his room looking at the boy while he was trying to tame his hair while holding a couple of papers in his hand, after a while he just shook his head in defeat and headed to the door. Severus just smiled at the effort the boy was taking to be presentable to him. 

Sure enough his magic tingled and a knock sounded at his door. He opened the door with a smile and ushering harry into the room. Harry took his place in the armchair and handed Severus the paper he was holding. 

After reading everything and taking note of what is different, he looked at Harry and asked.

‘ So, this potion made you feel drowsy, but not put you to sleep? And as I can see the color of the bubble changed?’ he asked with a quirk of his lips. he didn’t want to ask about the dream immediately so the boy would get comfortable first. 

The boy smiled a bit and answered ‘Well, yeah. It’s like when you are really sleepy but you can stills stay awake. And the bubble is not pink anymore’. Ending with a blush and a smile. 

Severus chuckled and ruffled his hair messing up all the boy’s effort in taming it.  
‘And the dream actually ended happily. I am glad. Do you remember the dream vividly or was it just a Happy feeling?’. Severus asked to know if Harry remembers?

The blush became more intense, ‘when the dream reached the bad part it changed. at first, I didn’t know what was happening or where was I but then what I always wanted finally happened in the dream. Um… does the potion change to know what we want at that moment and delivers it? Or is it based on what we desire the most?’

Severus was stunned. Was this what Harry desired the most? For himself to love harry? He was extremely humbled and that warm fuzzy feeling returned to his stomach. At that moment, he sweared to himself to always be there when harry is dreaming to tell him he loved him every single time the boy asked.

‘I would assume it does.’ He lied ‘if what you had in your dream was your deepest desire.’

Harry looked down thoughtful and answered with a single ‘Yeah.’

‘then that is great news. I will brew a full batch of the new recipe for your consumption and will give you will come over each night to receive a bottle, since I need to monitor the amount and will the modify the dosage and see if the amount would be effective if different quantities.’

Harry just nodded and thanked him again. And excused himself, since he promised Ramus to help with organizing one of the rooms. 

 

Severus didn’t see the boy until nighttime when he knocked on the door for a potion, for Snape was in his rooms brewing all day. He wished the boy a good night and after the boy fell asleep he monitored his sleep. He slept soundly, with no dreams that night, but Snape did have his dreams of emerald gems and how in this dreams they were a bit further than usual and he had to put an effort to hold them. At the end hold them he did with awe and reverence. 

 

The next day was dour since Harry was not in Grimauld place in the morning. He was with his friends. So, he got stuck with lupin all day. By night time, Harry was there for his potion and a small update of the order. He sat again in the armchair with Snape on the armrest. Snape couldn’t stop the urge to run his fingers in Harry’s hair and wishing him goodnight. Harry awarded him with one of his brilliant smiles and a shy goodnight. 

That night when harry fell asleep he was dreaming of the bastard Severus, “not a bastard anymore, really.” and Severus was there waiting for him to wake up. And when he did, he just opened his arm and the boy fell into his lap professing words of love again and again.

‘I love you Severus, I love you so much’.  
And this time he was able to look the boy in the eye and answer.

‘I love you too harry, I love you too’ with a kiss to his forehead. Harry snuggled into his neck breathing deeply as if smelling his sent and falling asleep immediately. Severus sat there in his conjured armchair with the boy in his lap. Petting his hair. Kissing him on his head. Rubbing circles into his back. Just not wanting to let go yet.

After a while he casted tempus and realized he was sitting there for two hours with harry in his arms. He put the boy into his bed with a final kiss, a touch to the cheek and headed to his bed to rest. 

The next morning, Severus woke up and watched Harry sleeping for a while until he couldn’t put it off any longer. He got up to start his day. 

Today he had important things to attend to, from a meeting with an informant, finishing an official paper for the ministry and brewing potions.

He had an early breakfast and flued to his destination where Black and Arthur Weasley already waiting. 

It took them several hours to argue and settle on a plan of action to lure the remaining death eaters. 

He returned straight to into the kitchen since it was past lunch time. He found an already made sandwiches under a status charm he took the plate and went to his rooms to finish his report. Looking at the wall, the lights were off in the boy’s room and Harry was not there, so, He sat down and started on the report. After finishing and boy still didn’t come to his room, he went into the lab to start on the potion that he was putting off for the sake of Harry’s potion. 

Half an hour into preparation he started hearing music coming from the other room. Wiping his hands down and heading to his room, he didn’t expect what he saw, which was Harry, wearing underpants and a t-shirt swaying his body to a song. An alternative song at that. 

(………foolish people do  
I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you  
And I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you )

Harry was swaying his hips from left to right, from the look of it he just got out from the shower. Suddenly it was difficult for him to swallow as he was looking at him. 

( No, I wanna fall in love  
(this world is only gonna break your heart)  
And, I wanna fall in love  
(this world is only gonna break your heart)  
..with you…)

The boy was moving his body, in a seductive way if he may add, but he was listening to the words being said and he was stunned that the words were deep and grim. 

( What a wicked game to play  
To make me feel this way  
What a wicked thing to do  
To let me dream of you  
What a wicked thing to say  
You never felt this way  
What a wicked thing you do  
To make me dream of you, )

 

Could it be that the song reminded the boy of the dream he was having? Or maybe he was looking too much into the meaning. Suddenly his train of thought was cut when the boy actually turned and was dancing facing him. He actually felt his body heat up and stir in reaction to the boy’s movement. 

( No, I wanna fall in love  
(this world is only gonna break your heart)  
No, I wanna fall in love  
(this world is only gonna break your heart)  
.with you, )

The boy was now running his hand through his hair as he pulled at his shirt revealing a bit of skin as he was still swaying his hips from side to side. Severus was extremely aroused and his pants were uncomfortably tight bordering on painful.

( World was on fire, no one could save me but you  
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do  
No, and I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you  
I'll never dream…)

 

Suddenly the boy flicked hid wand and the music stopped, breaking the spell that Snape was under. Severus realized the boy was heading to the wall. He panicked, his heart lodged in his throat. As the boy stopped right in front of the wall, looking at it with sad eyes. Then resting his forehead on it as well as his left palm. He inhaled and exhaled deeply.

‘I love you, but would you love me back?’

Severus couldn’t stop himself from doing exactly the same trying to be close to the boy and spreading his right palm right over the boy’s left. 

‘I do love you back, but how can I tell you?’

Suddenly there was a pulse of magic between them that sent almost an electric shock through them, Severus stepped back when the wall started cracking, but it was not the wall, it was the spell.

Suddenly there was Harry looking at him in the eye, he was screwed, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song : Wicked Games by HIM

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this.  
> please review since its my first fic ever and if their are any mistakes please point them out :)


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